Editor's Note: Mark Borax is the author of 2012: Crossing the Bridge to the Future, and longtime co-author and co-teacher with astrologer Ellias Lonsdale.
Westminster West, Vermont
Since 1987 people have been looking toward the year we're now living in as a crossroads in human development. Many people are finding increasing signs and portents pointing toward the end of the world. Others see a golden ray of light breaking through the darkness of recent times. The Information Highway is surging with auguries of doom and utopia. Because I published a book on 2012 a few years ago, talk-show hosts, reporters, listeners and readers have been asking me what's going to happen by the end of this year.
On June 24 the giant planet Uranus (Revolution) will square tiny Pluto (Hell), marking a ninety-degree angle that is the next step in the story of these planets since they first came together in 1966. I see this square as a Gateway in Consciousness, which our species is being swept toward with immense force. To transform the living hell of our species we must overthrow systems of false power.
This revelation is nothing new -- Shakespeare spoke of the same thing. But what makes our time unique is that we have new technology that spreads the news of change instantaneously around the world. This single development has the power to teach people how our commonality outweighs our differences, and how we're all looking for the same thing.
Powerful subterranean forces of change, that have been increasing force since the Sixties revolution went underground in the 1970s, are erupting back onto the surface again. This will happen even more in the coming summer. There is no prophecy written in stone that is forcing our species to a predetermined outcome, but a great mandate is being imposed on us, and the way we respond to it will determine the fate of our time: Evolve or Perish.
There's a way to talk about these things and a way to live them. As a soul level astrologer and author my job is to translate the mysteries. For decades I've wrestled with the task of bringing the stars down to earth, making the mysteries real. At such a historical turning point as 2012 this task becomes more crucial, as a wave of intensity sweeps across the world.
This wave is not going to lessen but increase its force in the coming decade, as the Age of Pisces gives way to the Age of Aquarius. Even people who know nothing about these matters are feeling the intensification of our time. Corporate media responds one way; visionaries, artists and children respond another, as both hope and paranoia increase. To follow the false marching orders of a dying civilization is to perish. To drop deep down into the truth bubbling in your heart and soul is to evolve.
The times we're living in require faith and fearlessness, to dare yourself to believe the future can be better than the past. You can't take your cues from the entrenched power structure that runs most media and education. You have to open your mind to the premise of something different. Right now, all over the world, the choice is being offered to the human race: Evolve or Perish.
We saw this choice in the 1960s, when an earlier Tsunami of Change swept through the world, and people awakened to the fact that our society was heading for a fall. Many of us took that wake-up call to heart and changed the direction of our lives. But now the stakes are higher. We're not just trying to end a war in southeast Asia, but stop the War of Deceit that occurs every day in the name of Normalcy.
Even if you can't yet see your part in this changing of the guard you can feel it. Even if you haven't learned to read a birth chart you can read the faces all around you - faces searching for something real to replace the Machine World, somebody human to replace the false leaders, something good and fine and natural to the soul to be the vote you cast.
People ask me if I vote. The answer is, yes, locally. I refuse to take part in the presidential hoax. It's a sham, because by the time someone is bred to enter federal politics they have been trained in the art of acting. They say exactly what their handlers tell them to. They respond to polls. National politics has become soulless and holds little hope of making any real change. Thankfully, however, national politics is only one of the forces that govern our fate. I take my cue for activism from Mark Twain, who said, "I believe in my country always, I believe in my government when it deserves it."
Both the politics and the astrology of our time indicate the same thing: the times we're living in are the make-it-or-break-it point of human history on Planet Earth. As many things darken on the world stage it constellates the light buried deeply in human beings. An unfortunate quirk of human nature is that we rarely make huge strides in evolution until we are forced to.
Here, now, the pressure is on. Upon what you choose to do with it rests the fate of the world.
Who Are You Really? What Are You Here For? How Much Longer Are You Going To Wait?
Secondly, Mercury In Taurus
Quality and Element:
Fixed Earth
Mercury's Themes:
good memory, hands-on, tactile, capable, results-oriented, tangible outcomes, deliberate
Possible Challenges:
stubborn, restricted speech, heavy mind, plodding thoughts, catching flies, rigid
Famous People with Mercury in Taurus:
Penelope Cruz, Salvador Dali, Daniel Day Lewis, Miles Davis, Marquis de Sade, Uma Thurman, George Clooney, John F. Kennedy, Clint Eastwood, Cher, Linda Goodman (astrologer-poet), Crispin Glover, Rene Zellweger, Johnny Depp, Kofi Annan, Samantha Morton, Martha Graham
The Taurus Mentality:
When Mercury is in Taurus, the mind slows down to take in sensory perceptions. Those with this fixed earth Mercury in the natal chart build up impressions carefully. They speak slowly, often choosing each word like a mason chooses bricks for a foundation. What this Mercury loses in speed, is made up for in thoroughness. They want a solid grounding in what they're experiencing -- often in a hands-on way -- as they shape perceptions.
This Mercury likes to learn by doing, and to take slow, steady steps toward a practical goal. Whether it's a solidly constructed building, song or educational program, they want to see tangible results in the end. They work best in an unhurried environment where they're not pressed to make leaps of logic. This Mercury approaches progress with caution, planning out each step to make sure it's on solid ground. Like the tortoise in the fable, they patiently deal with what's in front of them, and progress slowly toward the finish line.
Mercury loses its restless edge, and becomes mesmerizingly grounded in Taurus. They speak with the authority of earthy wisdom, a knowing that comes from leaving no stone unturned. Their words come out full-bodied, rich, and rooted in the real world. They can be no-nonsense, which saves them time in the long run. They're not fantasizing about what could be, because they're enmeshed in what is. Sometimes this locks them into safe boxes, where the unproven or new is treated as suspect.
Taurus is Venus-ruled, and as artists, they're apt to approach it as craft, becoming masterful at what they do. This Mercury lends the strong focus and discipline to make it through the apprenticeship period. Often they're graced with melodious voices, and shine in mediums in which the body is the instrument.
In Taurus, Mercury seeks to create things that are enduring, tangible and stable. Ideally, what is created is a reflection of deeply held values. There's a need to have something to show for the effort, like growing wealth and possessions. This is a mind geared toward consistent effort over time, with the expectation of an abundant harvest.
I ordered an amethyst pendulum for R. for his birthday, and not only did I get a pendulum made of amazing quality, but she sent me a bag to carry it in which was really well warded (shield spell work that was divine, I have to say), and also a second pendulum as a surprise free gift.
I've just ordered a set of chakra balancing stones from her, because I was so impressed with the quick arrival of my goodies, and her great customer service that I had to order something else, and I contacted her to tell her that not only was I buying from her again, but I was letting all of you know about her. She totally made my day, so if you need a pendulum or a set of runes, check her out.
Bright blessings...
A very happy Kitty.
That being said... Enjoy and bright blessings.
Center yourself. Connect the core of yourself to the core of the earth. Connect the core of yourself to the core of the universe. Balance the flow, in and out, above and below, in your center. Take three, deep, grounding breaths. The first breath relaxes your body. The second breath relaxes your heart and mind. The third breath relaxes your soul. As you take a fourth, deep breath, sink into your center, and from that place of calm, you reach into the core of the earth, and when you connect, you draw the earth up into your feet. You become heavier, more grounded, more solid, more yourself, with every breath in, and though it is an intense feeling, you are safe and calm, knowing that even the intensity can be earthed, leaving only the experience of deep connection. Your body begins to unite with the Mother, yet this does not dismay you, but rather you feel the strength of your unity with Her, the strength of knowing you are one of Her creatures. You draw the earth up into your feet, joyously uniting yourself with Her energy, and your feet become part of the earth. Drawing more and more earth into you, your ankles and calves become the earth. The more you draw upon the earth, the more you merge with it. Your knees and thighs become earth, your hips and buttocks, your womb and waist, your chest and spine, your arms and hands, your neck, and finally your head, all become the earth, solid, deep, strong. There is no separation – you are the earth and the earth is you. You are so connected that you can feel the deep pulse of the earth’s heartbeat. You can feel the plants and animals roaming your surface, and know that your human form is one of those creatures. You can feel the oceans, rivers, lakes and streams that riddle your body. You can feel the air and the clouds flow over you. You can feel the deep heat of magma, and the pressures of your skin flowing over it. You can feel the moon tugging you this way and that. You can feel the sun warming your surface. You are so connected with the earth that your thoughts are Her thoughts, and Her thoughts are yours, and as you listen, you sink deeper and deeper into Her.
As you breathe from that place of groundedness and calm, you begin to feel a place upon your surface that cries out for exploration, and you know that this place offers a lesson you seek. Gathering your consciousness together at the place that calls you, you form a body from the earth, and arise out of the soil to discover a stone tower, inset with a single wooden door, and many archways and windows, pillars, and buttresses, and you know that this is your own castle, the castle of your life. You continue walking around the castle, and as you explore the surroundings, you notice that each archway, each window has a scene played out, which you can see as you look through them, from the outside as a calm observer… and that each scene is a moment of your life where chaos has overtaken calm, where you have been so involved in the minutia of the moment that you forgot to live, forgot to breathe, forgot to think, and just reacted. These scenes represent all the crazy, anxious, worried, angry moments of your lifetime, and you know instinctively that these moments are what hold you back from the serenity of walking the path of growth.
When you have completed all your explorations, and seen all that the windows into your life have to offer, you return to the single wooden door. Drawing strength and calm from the depths of the earth, you open the door, and step into the tower, to begin going from room to room, window to window. From your place of calm observer, you come to a truth about the way you have spent your life up till now, and resolve to find a new way to walk a path of growth, and to surrender all the craziness, all the anxieties, all the worry, all the rage, all the chaos that has been a part of your life in so many ways, back to the earth. Each memory that you touch that has disarray attached to it, you gather from the window, and send it down into the magma below you to be mixed and transformed. When every last bit of wild, uneasy, nervous, heated ounce of disorder has been transformed in the heart of the earth, draw comfort and fortification from the earth, back into your tower, allowing the changed, calm energy to fill each window with images of quiet courage, restful and soothing.
When every window of your tower has been changed, and you are sure of your path, find your own way back out of the tower. Walk once more around your tower to see that every window is a memory to celebrate, or a vision of serenity that will now come into your life and remain for the future. When you are sure that all is as it should be, find a path that leads out into the world. Know that you may now walk that path in strength and beauty, power and glory, with surety of purpose, and joy in your heart. Bring your chosen path back to your conscious mind with three, deep breaths. The first breath awakens your soul. The second breath awakens your heart and mind. The third breath awakens your body. You open your eyes, and smile.
Much of your course is open, in sunlight and moonlight. You are dappled and sparkling with light, or gently shaded by cliff and overhang, tree and shrub. You are a work of light on your surface, very true… but just as in your lifetime you have experienced periods of shadow, so your course as a river experiences cold depths, and occasionally, you leave the surface for the dark, subterranean tombs… and now the cavernous gloom calls to you with its very silence – the silence of true peace. Recognizing that light is a shallow thing, and that more of you exists underneath the surface radiance, knowing that it is the shadow that holds your uniqueness, knowing that pain and sorrow create your individuality, and that the perfect parts are perfect only because they resemble the norm, the every-day, the sameness between yourself and everyone else, you have come to the wisdom that loving your damage and your depths is the true path to loving yourself… and that this is the time to courageously face your depths, your shadows, your underground features, and discover who you really are. By the very act of deciding this, you find yourself gathering at the edge of a subsidence, a well where your waters have carved a cavern.
It is the nature of water to see by touch, but it is the nature of man to see by illumination, so while your body is water, and you feel the tunnel leading into the earth pressing all around you, you take with you into the depths the light that still shimmers on your myriad surfaces, so that you may see as well as touch the darkness in the deep. When your waters spill forth again into open air, your mind perceives by the luminosity you carry a massive cavern, which you are coursing through. In the center of the cave, you discover a pool of water that was once a part of your route, but at some time in the past became separated from the rest of your body, and by its sequestering, lost its light, becoming the darkest, deepest collection of gloomy shadow you have ever discovered, and yet you know it instantly to be a piece of yourself, and that finally the time is right for you to let go of the need for separation, share your light, absorb your shadows, and transform this stagnant water into wholeness for yourself and it. You recognize, however, that this process will not be easy – the pool has been isolated for a very long time, and being the source of your individuality, has become a consciousness in its own right… it will take more than just courage – it will also take a willingness to let go of the barriers between yourself and it, a purging of toxins from your body, mind, and spirit to make you both strong enough to survive reintegration, and a metamorphosis into newness – a thing both of the light and shadow, which is wholeness.
To do all this, you must first realize and accept that you are divine. You alone are responsible for your choices, and you must leave victimhood behind and stand in your personal power and express your free will – the will to walk your true path, embody your purest ideals and walk in terrible beauty and glorious shadow, and apply this passion to the goals your soul was borne to convey into reality. You must release everything, from now on, that keeps you from these goals, create proper boundaries which, rather than keeping yourself powerless, affirm your right to be as you are and are healthy expressions of what you will and will not allow others to put on you in the form of restrictions or expectations, and finally, by doing all this, you must accept the result, which is true inner peace – and find yourself in a place where the path of choice becomes narrowed to become only to what you MUST do, with full responsibility and power, according to your Will. If this be your choice, then begin with a simple statement – “I will. I do. I am.”
You are water. Your power to create is so great that, without your presence, life as we know it would never have existed. Your power to preserve is so overarching that all forms of life need you to survive. Your power to destroy is so sure that you conquer the very rocks of the earth, reducing them to mere sand, and then to dust, and then they are nothing but loess in the wind – and then you remake them into soil, and give them life once again. You are eternal… your ebb and flow has existed since before the first life, and will go on long after the last. You have power unmeasured by even those who think they know you, and depths unplumbed even by yourself. Now, if ever, is the time to face that reality, and, using your strength, break the dam that separates your greatest strength from your visible self. As one author put it, “When the water stinks, break the dam. In love, break it.” Let that love shine from you now. Let it be so all-encompassing that it overwhelms your channels, swamps the cavern, and shatters the barriers between yourself and your shadow. With a deep breath, fill the cave with your sun-flecked, healing body, and swallow the pool of darkness back into your glowing, loving, luminescent river self.
With another deep breath, as you storm and surge in the cavernous deep, gather stone and soil, jewel and sand, and use the elements to purge from your body, and thus your mind and spirit, all thoughts, words, and deeds that do not serve your beautiful, pure will. Remove all dreams of powerlessness, and sift out the belief that you are not in charge of your life – you absolutely are, even when it appears that you are not, for when we decide how to respond to the many wrenches life and life forms throw at us, we express our freedom to choose… even if that choice is to make no selection, when that preference is to be a victim. So you choose, in this moment, to let go of the dream of being broken, being wounded, and instead, you decide a new dream – the dream of capability, culpability, responsibility – your desire to be who you are, in terrible glory, sifts the toxic thoughts holding you back from your body, from your mind and heart, and from the depths of your soul, and reduces them to dust, and then to nothing… and with a final breath, you experience a moment of transformation. Your shadows become illuminated, your rippling light becomes brighter for the shadows on the other side of each undulation, and you know yourself to be whole. With a flash of light and power that rocks the world, your metamorphosis is complete, and as the last swell dies and your waters still, you flow out under the stones at the other end of the cavern, and back into the sun.
If God were an ocean, if the Universe was a body, then each form, living or inanimate, would be an atom in that ocean, a cell inside that body. But the Universe is more than that, because God is also all that is outside the ocean, beyond the body. God is existence, across multiple dimensions, and the Void outside of it – the body consists of every atom, cell, amino acid and protein, but if we are a cell within that body, or an atom inside the ocean, the body has a skin, the ocean has a surface, and there is much more beyond us which we could never fathom. You are a drop in the ocean, a cell in the body, but don’t let that fool you – you are vital. The smallest cog in the clock is the one that drives the whole system. Even if your one act today is something utterly inconsequential to you, that action is far-reaching in its scope.
Take another deep breath. Truly become aware of your breath. Feel it plunge into your nostrils, rattle down your bronchial tube, inflate your lungs, expand your diaphragm, and stretch out your stomach and womb. The first act of creation was one of light and fire, but the first act of life was breath. Plants and bacteria breathe, animals and amphibians breathe, birds and insects breathe… everything that is, breathes… and what they take in is the breath of God, the dust of stars, the strength of the ocean, and the cells of the body Divine. Take another deep breath, and with that breath, draw yourself back out of the river – gather yourself out of the river from source to ocean, assemble yourself into one place, extract your body, and step, cleansed and powerful, out of the river and into your physical body – a body of radiance and shade. Recognize in your light and shadow the light and shadow of the universe. See that the roots of your personality, your spiritual essence, even your physical body, are all divine in origin, and that YOU are Divine. Know that as the power of the Universe, the power of the Divine is great, so is your own power to work your Will upon the cosmos, for you are one with the Divine, and that spark of creation is at work within you and through you. But what is your will?
To know your true goals for this lifetime, you must know what you are passionate about. What draws you, again and again, in pattern after pattern? Your shadow knows the answer to this question, and as you are whole, so do you. You can see your reason for being, as clearly as you see the sun shining – you know it just as surely as you know that the moon rises… and you also know what keeps you from it. As you released the toxic thoughts, emotions, ideas, patterns from your system earlier, now release those things that are not for your highest purpose – and create healthy boundaries to maintain your purity of purpose, your strength of Will.
With one more deep breath, balance yourself so perfectly with your purposes that you experience that greatest of desired states – true inner peace. Now, bring that peace into your awakened state with three deep breaths, one to awaken your soul, one to awaken your mind and heart, and one to awaken your body. When you awaken and open your eyes, you remember who you are, whole and terrible, beautiful and glorious, the shadow and the light in one body. Thou art God.
Take three, deep breaths. The first breath relaxes your body. The second breath relaxes your mind and heart. The third breath relaxes your soul.
In the center of your body, in your solar plexus, there is a spark. That spark is not only your center, but your spirit. When you connect to your center, and sink into it, you are more your true self than at any other time, and when you connect your own central axis, which runs from the crown chakra to the root chakra through the solar plexus, to the core of the universe and the center of the Earth, you are more than just grounded, you are whole. Sink, now, into your spark. See that, with every inhalation, that spark expands. With every exhalation, your spark becomes more connected to earth and sky. You breathe, in and out, and become, with every lungful of air, more and more a pillar of fiery light. Your stomach and spine become bright and fiery. Your chest and back become bright fire. Your womb and root become bright fire. Your neck and shoulders become bright fire. Your waist and hips become bright fire. Your arms become bright fire. Your legs become bright fire. Your hands and feet become bright fire. Your head becomes bright fire. You become a column that sinks into the earth, and rises into the sky, an inferno of power connecting earth and sky with your own bright spark, perfectly balanced between the two sources of heat, light and creation. With one final deep breath, you draw into your center the source of galaxies in the interior of the universe, and the magma at the heart of the earth, and with the speed of a falling meteor, you plunge your transformed self towards the earth like a strike of lightening.
When you hit, there is a back-draft upwards, and you find your fiery self transformed and contained. You find yourself a salamander, well-fed, but enclosed by brick, mortar, and metal – but you are the heart of fire, and you know that fuel is fuel, and that a moment’s distraction can set you free to roam, so you are content. You mumble and crackle, pop and snicker to yourself, singing the siren song of flame as you dance along the wood you find yourself devouring. However, you are the essence of transformation, and it is not in your nature to remain in one form for long, so with another deep breath, you begin to gather yourself, simmering down deep into the coals, where you take a new form – one that can walk the earth without harm – a glowingly illuminated spirit, cracking as it moves to flash the fiery magma within, but which contains the heat and does no damage.
When you are fully-formed and completely contained, you arise out of the space you find yourself in, and know its human name – a fireplace. You step down out of the enclosure, and look around you. You see those of your brothers and sisters who remain within the hearth, and notice above the fireside mantle a number of yellowing beeswax candles. Not wanting to explore alone, you take one of the candles down, and, reaching back into the grate, draw out a flame with which to light the candle from the coals within. When you feel ready, and the flicker of the candlelight becomes steady, you turn to examine the room. Much of what you see is curious, but you do not understand what you are looking at, and so you pass it by. Only one thing captures your passion and rebellious curiosity, and that object is a closed door with a faint aura of secrecy about it. You know instinctively that the owner of the fireplace seldom examines what lies beyond the door, and your burning inquisitiveness immediately demands that you not only open it, but examine the environs beyond. You take up your candle, and stride across the room, stubbornly courageous in these strange surroundings, and determined to discover the mystery.
Not being one to let closed doors stand, when you arrive at the threshold and find it to be only wood, you raise your fist and pound brashly, three times, upon the door. The protesting exit, knowing what’s good for it, obligingly unlocks, and springs open before you, and you discover on the other side a black pit of darkness so deep that it absorbs the light you and your candle produce, swallowing it into the depths below – and it IS below, for the only thing your candle is able to enlighten is a single stair, triangular in shape, wide on the right side and narrow on the left. You take a deep breath and summon a flare of light, but the illumination sinks into the darkness, and tells you nothing more. Valiantly, you settle yourself, and decide to forge onward. You step onto the stair.
Immediately, another stair, slightly to the left of the one you inhabit, appears below the first… and now you know that you stand upon a spiral stairway. The nature of the stairway is to flow counterclockwise downward, and the case is rickety, wooden, creaky, and steep. Were you not intrepidly natured, your heart might quail at the sharpness of the incline, but being fiery and fearless you barely blink, and continue. Instinctively, you know the number of the stairs, and while only one tread is ever lit by your candle at a time, you hear the count flowing backwards as you traverse the case – 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and then you find yourself standing upon the earth, deep in the swallowing darkness.
You look about you, and discover that in front of you on the floor is another yellowing beeswax candle. Wanting to see more of the surrounding room, you immediately attempt to lift the candle from the ground, but discover it to be affixed to the dirt floor, and settle for sharing the flame of your own candle with its wick. As you cast about eagerly, you find that the darkness is still nearly complete, but you also discover another candle, to the left of the second. You step towards it, and light it. To your right appears a third candle, and when you light that one, you find a fourth, again to the right of it… and when you light that one, you discover a spear for the candle in your hand to the right of it. When you have placed your own candle down, you discover that within the circle of candles, you can see quite well, and what you see is the source of the darkness.
Cast out from your body, in a pool contained by the lights of the candles, is a deep, dark shadow. It emanates from within you, and is contained by the structure you built of light, and when you are not guarding it with the meager light of a single candle, it reigns supreme, here in the depths of your subconscious, the basement level of your spiritual house.
The moment you know it for what it is, the moment your flash of understanding illuminates the true nature of things, the lights come on in the room. The shadow pooling before you gathers, stands upright, and takes your own form, a fetch, a doppelganger, a mirror image. You see your own hair, your own eyes, and your own skin. You see your own height, your own waist, your own shape… and in recognizing yourself, you pause. It’s so like yourself that the face wrinkles just the way yours does, the lips purse just like your own, when you are about to speak. Curiously, boldly even, you wait to see what it will say to you, and when it does begin to speak, your fetch tells you something about yourself that only you have ever known. It does not waste words on idle gossip, on falsehood, on fears or self-deception, however, as one would expect of a shadow – and you know you are hearing the unvarnished, unquestionable truth. It is a hard thing, to hear bald truth spoken in so absolute a way as to be undeniable, but you are here for a reason. You are here to grow forwards, to be true to yourself, and bring yourself into balance by courageously accepting that truth, however ugly, requires action. Your shadow asks you: “Can you be a bold enough a leader to take a stand? Can you act on what you learn here? Are you willing to leave your comfort zone, and use the power of your individuality to live a new life from here on out, based on the truth you hear spoken here?”
When you are ready, and feel capable of choosing to act, step forward, and take your shadow’s hand. Bring yourself into balance, with the power of a true decision, acting with your true will to alter the path you will walk from now on.
With the choice made, your shadow flares, brighter than the sun, illuminated by your decision. The flames from the four candles are swallowed by the light produced within your shadow, as it absorbs the flames produced by their wicking. You take your fetch by the hand again, and leaving the now-quiescent flameless candles behind you, you walk back up the stairs, counting as you go – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13… You walk with your doppelganger out the door, back to the fireplace, where you find a warm welcome from your fiery brethren in the grate. Taking your shadow back into yourself, you allow yourself to return back to the fire, whole and happy.
You take three, deep breaths. The first breath awakens your soul. The second breath awakens your heart and mind. The third breath awakens your body. You open your eyes, and smile.
Enjoy, and Bright Blessings, all.
Close your eyes and take three, deep breaths. The first breath relaxes your body. The second breath relaxes your mind. The third breath relaxes your soul. As you continue breathing deeply, you become aware of the warm sun shining above you. It’s so warm and comfortable where you are, that it seems the sunlight is seeping into your bones. With each breath, you are becoming more and more warm, more and more light and airy – so warm, so light and airy that you begin to forget your body. You are beginning to drift, featherlike, blending with the warm, sunny air around you, as a golden light begins to wash over you, beginning with your toes and flowing upwards. Your toes are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your toes are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your toes are warmth and air and light. Your feet are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your feet are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your feet are warmth and air and light. Your ankles are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your ankles are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your ankles are warmth and air and light. Your calves are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your calves are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your calves are warmth and air and light. Your knees are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your knees are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your knees are warmth and air and light. Your thighs are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your thighs are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your thighs are warmth and air and light. Your buttocks and hips are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your buttocks and hips are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your buttocks and hips are warmth and air and light. Your sacral plexus and waist are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your sacral plexus and waist are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your sacral plexus and waist are warmth and air and light. Your stomach and chest are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your stomach and chest are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your stomach and chest are warmth and air and light. Your back and spine are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your back and spine are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your back and spine are warmth and air and light. Your shoulders and neck are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your shoulders and neck are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your shoulders and neck are warmth and air and light. Your arms and elbows are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your arms and elbows are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your arms and elbows are warmth and air and light. Your wrists and hands are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your wrists and hands are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your wrists and hands are warmth and air and light. Your face and head are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your face and head are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your face and head are warmth and air and light. Your body and mind are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your body and mind are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your body and mind are warmth and air and light. Your heart and soul are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. Your heart and soul are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. Your heart and soul are warmth and air and light. You are relaxing in the warm, airy, golden light. You are becoming the warm, airy, golden light. You are warmth and air and light. With a final breath, you infuse the air, drifting, wafting, and dissipating.
Draw yourself together now, golden and light, into a single, brilliant point of illumination, brighter than the sun. As you coalesce into light, you pull into your structure radiance from the center of the earth and the core of the universe, drawing the universal light in through the crown of your head, and the earthly energy in through your feet, so that they meet with your own light in your center, your solar plexus, and radiate from there, with your own luminescence, throughout your whole body and beyond, cleansing and clearing every chakra and channel. As this clarification process happens, you discover your light expanding, brightening even more than before.
As you float through the atmosphere, bright and clear, diffused and golden, you discover leaves, and the occasional feather, floating through the autumn air along with you. The leaves and feathers catch your imagination as they spin and flit through the sunlit air. You can see the sun-bright topside of the migrating foliage, and the bright white glow of the feathers. You can see the deep-shadowed undersides. You can see that sometimes, the texture of the leaves causes shadows and pits on their crowns, and sometimes the sunlight catches the edge of a leaf, so that brightness highlights the base, and you can see that just as the leaves have bright and dark natures, so the feathers have a bright top, a dark underside, and lighter shadows between each strand… and you begin to understand the essential nature of the world around you. High above you is the sun, the source of warmth and life for the Earth below you. Its gravitational pull keeps the Earth in the perfect location for the temperatures that all types of life on the Earth depends on, just as the Earth’s gravitational pull keeps the atmosphere stable, and the Moon’s gravitation makes the tides that began all life. Just as the leaves and feathers have a light side, a dark side, and a mixed side, so the moon, and the earth have dark and light sides, and even the sun has a dark nature and a bright nature – and all are in perfect balance, allowing all the life we know of, and many forms we have yet to discover, to exist, flourish, and prosper.
Just as there are delicate yet perfect balances in the heavens, and within every leaf and feather, there are also delicate balances within you, energetically and psychologically. Energetically, you have the balance between your many chakras. Psychologically, you have the subconscious, shadowy side to your nature, you have the highly evolved lightbody soul side, and you have your basic expressed personality. Another way to look at your balance is to recognize that you have a body, a heart and mind, and a spirit. You also have masculine, feminine, and androgynous features to your energy and personality. You, like the heavens, are meant to be in perfect balance… are you?
Imagine, now, an ancient set of scales, like those of Lady Justice, hanging above your body, with one end at your head, and the other end at your feet. Picture the scales, and know that they measure the balance of energy between your crown chakra and the chakras at the peaks of your arches, in what’s called the plantar fascia of each foot. Is one end of the scale heavier than the other? Balance the energy by moving weight from one side of the scale to the other. When the energy is balanced, check other connected chakras – the feet with each other; the knees with each other, then the elbows with each other, and then the knees with their corresponding elbows, and with their opposite elbows; the hips and shoulders in the same manner; the root and crown chakras, the third eye and womb, the throat and solar plexus, the rose and green heart chakras with each other. Check the major chakras by themselves, front with back.
When you are perfectly balanced energetically, sink deeper, into the personality layer of your energy, the layer where the balance of masculine and feminine qualities lies. Are you balanced ideally for your own spiritual path, or do you have too much of one and not enough of the other? What about the active and passive parts of your personality – are they in balance? What about logic and emotion, the physical body and the spiritual? What about the elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water? Are they balanced with each other within your personality? Are they balanced between their active and passive natures? What about your shadow and your light? Are you, as the leaves and the feathers drifting in the air, perfectly balanced between sky and earth? Recognize your own internal balance, and be at peace with it, knowing that you are a balance of polarities, but you are both ends of the scale, and you are Oneness… and by your Oneness, you bring balance into the Universe, and into the structures of life and the inanimate around you.
Balance the energy between yourself and your chair. Balance the energies between yourself and the Earth, between yourself and a tree, between yourself and the stars. How many ways can you create balance, both within yourself, and within the world?
When you are ready, center yourself again, let any excess energies flow back to the sources of Earth center and Sky core, and then take three, deep breaths. The first breath awakens your soul to this reality. The second breath awakens your heart and mind. The third breath awakens your body. Stretch, smile, and rejoice. You are whole and balanced.
You find yourself floating in the ocean. The water is warm and comfortable, soothing and tranquil. You’re so at ease, so relaxed and calm, that you begin to forget your body, and become one with the water. Your toes are becoming water. Your toes are becoming water. Your toes are water. Your feet are becoming water. Your feet are becoming water. Your feet are water. Your calves are becoming water. Your calves are becoming water. Your calves are water. Your knees are becoming water. Your knees are becoming water. Your knees are water. Your thighs are becoming water. Your thighs are becoming water. Your thighs are water. Your buttocks and hips are becoming water. Your buttocks and hips are becoming water. Your buttocks and hips are water. Your waist is becoming water. Your waist is becoming water. Your waist is water. Your chest is becoming water. Your chest is becoming water. Your chest is water. Your back and shoulders are becoming water. Your back and shoulders are becoming water. Your back and shoulders are water. Your neck and spine are becoming water. Your neck and spine are becoming water. Your neck and spine are water. Your arms are becoming water. Your arms are becoming water. Your arms are water. Your hands and fingers are becoming water. Your hands and fingers are becoming water. Your hands and fingers are water. Your head is becoming water. Your head is becoming water. Your head is water. You are completely water, flowing through the ocean, blending with the ocean. Your body relaxes so completely, the water drifts away, and you are one with the ocean. You are the ocean.
When you touch something, it changes you. When you touch something, you change it. In one instant, you and the thing you touch become one, and when you separate, you are forever changed. You are the ocean, and the ocean is you. You are the algae and plankton. You are the fish and the coral. You are the whales and dolphins and sharks. You are the kraken and the squid. You are the deep cold, and the warm tropical shallows. You are the islands and the reefs. You are the ocean, and you are everything within it.
Because you are one with the ocean, you are also one with the air. You are the butterfly and the dragonfly, and every other flying bug. You are the eagle and the sparrow. You are the clouds. You are the lightening and the rain, the crying wind in the trees, and the still, deep silences of the heights.
Because you are the ocean and the air, you are also the land. You are the rocks and the cliffs, the rivers and the plains, the mountains and the valleys. You are the plants and trees. You are the buffalo and the elephant. You are the tiger and the lion. You are the squirrel and the skunk. You are the gibbon and the gorilla. You are man.
As you drift in this sea of oneness, you realize there are others floating with you – others who are also one with the ocean, one with the air, one with the land. You can feel them all around you, and you know that while you are this vastness, you are also seated in a room, surrounded by friends and loved ones. You can feel their spirits blending with yours, as they and you merge with the world. They are a tangle of root and branch within your life. Even those who are not present beside you, but whose lives you touch, are blending their essences with yours in this moment. You realize you are more than your body, more than your soul. You are an intermediary. Those souls that you touch and blend with, you bring to others, in an ever-expanding, rippling tide of unity. You are your children and their children, past and present. You are your lovers, and you are every lover that has ever been. You are your friends and your family. You are their friends, and their families. You are the sea of humanity, the collective unconscious, consciously realized in this moment.
But you are even more than that. You are every living thing upon the earth. You are the breath and sigh, the song and the weeping, the thunder and the laughter. You are the world. Your body floats in an endless universe… and you are the silent depths of space. You are every speck of dust, every comet, every planet, every sun and every form of life that exists within your body – the body Universal.
You are even more. For you are multidimensional. You are this universe, and the Multiverse beyond it. You are every aspect and every element, in this world and beyond. You are this dimension and every dimension it touches. You are the astral planes, and the abyssal. You are the Summerlands, and the void. You are the Akashic field, and the eleven dimensions.
In this moment, you become aware of God – the God that is the trees and the stars, the God that is the ocean and the air, the God which is the astral and the void, and all things in between… She is male and female. She is dark and light. She is negative and positive. She is duality and unity, polarity and the center… and you see that you and God are one. As She is all things, so are you Her.
Be one with the Multiverse. Be one with God. Float in this deep state of connectedness. Remember now who and what you are… Thou art God, Nameless and Eternal.
Now that you know the truth of your nature, it is time to bring that awareness home. You live and breathe in all spaces and all times… but you are a singular consciousness as well. It is time to bring the memory of your united nature into the world. You find your name, and speak it, three times, and the awareness of your name calls you home to your earthly body.
When you are ready, take three deep breaths. The first breath awakens your soul. The second breath awakens your mind. The third breath awakens your body. You open your eyes, and remember.
Now, center yourself by relaxing even further, and sinking into your solar plexus chakra. Connect the core of yourself to the core of the universe, allowing power to flow between yourself and the universe. When the flow equalizes, connect to the core of the Earth, and allow power to flow between yourself and the Earth. Feel the flow between the universe and the Earth, with you as its intermediary, as the two sources mix and mingle in your solar plexus chakra.
As you draw flow up from the Earth and share flow downwards, you notice that your toes are becoming Earth. This does not worry you, but feels completely natural, and you allow it to continue, as you join the Mother’s body to your own. Your feet become Earth. Your ankles become Earth. Your legs become Earth. Your waist becomes Earth. Your back and chest become Earth. Your neck and arms become Earth. Your hands become Earth. Your head becomes Earth.
You can feel yourself sinking deep into the soil, blending with the Earth, so that there is no separation between yourself and the Earth… you are the Earth and the Earth is you. You exist in the perpetually pregnant silence of the underworld, out of which all life comes – plants – trees , flowers, and shrubs… all nature of green and budding things, beautiful – so many colors of green, and the flowers, from black to white, from red to purple, and every shade in between – and animals – from the tiniest gnat to the great whales of the ocean, and every creature in-between. You are the Mother of all that is, was, or ever will be. The great web of life, the loom of fate, is spun from your essence. You can see the great pattern of it, and you understand, in this moment, the purpose behind your own existence – you see your place in the web, and you become, in this moment, dedicated to that purpose. You experience a moment of purity – purity of will, of heart, mind, and spirit.
Your turn your focus outwards, and arise out of the Earth to find yourself in a riotous garden – and you know you are in the garden of your soul. Each plant in the garden represents a facet of your nature – a memory, thought, idea, put together in such a harmonious way, that the beauty leaves you quite in awe of yourself. Slowly, though, you begin to realize that there are too many plants – too many negative memories, too many shadowed thoughts, too many incorrect ideas – some of these experiences you carry cloud your spirit and block you from achieving your true purposes.
You know that plants need space and light to grow well, and you recognize that if you don’t thin out the garden, nothing will survive. You need to do some weeding… but what is relevant, what is important, necessary? What supports your purity of purpose, and what does not? How do you tell the difference?
You stop to think – to truly examine your garden of purpose. You take the time to examine each plant within it, and you start to notice that your garden has a pattern to it, just as the wider world has a pattern, a weave. You begin to connect your purity of purpose with the tapestry of your garden. You realize that you can feel the plants that belong and the plants that do not. You realize the difference between those memories and ideas that support your purity of purpose, your raison d’être, and those that are merely weeds. When you see the whole pattern of your garden, and you are sure of your purpose – when that purpose is a pure pattern in your mind, you know you are ready to begin to weed out the plants, and thus the ideas and experiences, that are contrary to the pattern that the garden is meant to express.
You begin to weed. Each plant you touch bears a memory, a thought, or an idea. You take the time to appreciate the part that each plant you uproot played in your life. You thank it for the experience it provided, and take a moment to appreciate that which once seemed of vital importance but which is no longer needed. With the removal of each weed, you become clearer and more focused, more yourself and more aligned with your purity of purpose.
When you have weeded out all the extraneous plants, all the irrelevant ideas, all the superfluous thoughts that prevent you from living according to your true purpose, you gather the weeds into a mound in the center of the garden. When you are ready, call upon the Earth and Sky and the four elements, to transmute the weeds of your life into healing ashes, to be spread over the garden to fertilize the continued health of your true purpose, and as the final flames die down and the ashes cool, you take three deep breaths. The first one awakens the soul, the second one awakens your mind and heart, and the third one awakens your body… and as you open your eyes, you find yourself renewed, revitalized, and ready to live to your highest purpose.
Your body reforms at the edge of the Grand Canyon. You look out over the cliff-face, down at the river far below you. You know that you have finally reached that moment where you have a choice to make. To trust in the universe, fling yourself out over the cliff, and fly, or to stand on the edge of the precipice, forever afraid of who and what you are. It’s time to take a deep breath, and choose the person you’re going to be for the rest of your life. You’ve seen your soul, your higher self. You’ve seen your shadows. You’ve confronted your fears, and discovered your blessings. You’ve even seen the path you’ve walked, and the many still to come, and you’ve chosen a future for yourself, one of dreams become reality. So now, you stand at the edge of a cliff, a Fool and a Wise One, and you know the time has come to step onto that future path. You take that breath, and, trusting in the universe, you leap into the air, knowing that you and the air are one.
The hot air below you and the cool above you slowly mix. Clouds form, thicken, and spread. They surround you, and they softly absorb you into their embrace, until you cannot tell where you end and the clouds begin. You begin to rub your cloud-self with other clouds. It creates the sound of thunder, and you sing the song of rain. Lightening flickers within your storm-body, and slowly, the temperature falls. You begin to drip towards the earth. Faster and faster, heavier and heavier, you flow towards the ground, soaking it. Thundering and flashing, dripping and blowing, you plummet towards the earth and the waiting river below.
As you fall, you drift across the world, until finally you find yourself over a forest. It is here that you spend the last ounce of your watery essence, and as the final drop connects with the soil below, you reform in the center of the wood. All around you, trees stretch as far as the eye can see. You notice the smell of the earth, the sound of the trees in the breeze, the dripping of rain off the leaves, the birds calling, and the warmth of the sun, the hum of insects, all the sounds and sensations of life around you.
You feel drawn to examine the trees surrounding you, and as you do, you discover faces in their bark – faces you recognize. They are faces of people you are connected to. You can see that closest to you are your family and your best friends. You can see further away, others who you have connections to, and those that they are connected to. You can see trees blending with trees, limb touching limb, creating a giant web of interconnection – you connecting with your loved ones, connecting with their loved ones, connecting with their loved ones, in an ever-spreading web of stunning beauty. You see your place in the web, how necessary you are. You can see that if you were not where you are, many people would not be as interconnected as they are with you a part of the web. You see your vital importance, and you know that without you to love, without your love for them, the world would be a lesser place. Without you, the world would be lacking something as important as air or water. Without you, the world you know would not be.
Recognizing your place in the web of life and the place you fill among your loved ones, you offer up energy to the web, and to everyone within it, and you feel the return of that energy from each person you touch with your love and light. You commune with the web, listening to the song of togetherness that it sings. When you are ready, you take three deep breaths. The first breath awakens the soul. The second breath awakens your mind. The third breath awakens your body. You open your eyes, look around you at the world you are part of and the people you share bonds with, and smile.
You stand in a place of personal power, radiating the essence of you. You are so you in this moment of personal power that all your masks drop, even the ones you hold up to yourself. You discover in this moment exactly what you are made of, who you are to your very bones. You are so yourself in this moment that you cannot run or hide. You are unavoidable… and it feels GOOD.
As soon as you come to awareness of yourself and your true nature, you also become aware of your surroundings. You find yourself standing on a road. Before you lie several paths, and behind you lies only one. As you look down that road into your past, you see the direction it has taken. At each place where you might have gone another way, you see a memory. You know exactly how you got to where you are right now.
Turning forwards again, you see before you many paths leading away from you, into the future. This time, instead of memories, you see before you possible futures. You can take a moment, here, to really think about where your life is heading. Which path will you take? Are there any changes you need to make in your life, to rectify your past and move into a brighter future? Are you choosing the path you walk because it’s the best possible path for you to walk, or are you refusing your personal power and responsibility, pretending to let circumstances force a choice upon you? Are you living a life of creativity, strength of will, determination, joy? Are you inspiring yourself and others around you, helping them grow as you, also, grow? Or are you letting your fears of failure prevent you from even trying?
Is it time to make a change?
Look, again, at each of the roads before you. You know, now, the power within you. You know how gifted and amazing, how necessary you are. Use this knowledge to judge each of the paths. Which of the roads before you feels in tune with your true self? Which road is your highest purpose, your highest power? Which road is the road you promised your God-self you would walk when you chose to incarnate here on Earth?
When you have judged each road, and you know the right path to take, standing in your power, step onto the path. How does the path feel to you? What trees do you notice lining it? What plants grow beside it? Do you see any animals taking the journey with you? What does the weather look like? Do you walk as your God-self, or do you have a patron or a guide who walks with you?
From now on, each day, before you get out of bed, return to that path. Visualize yourself walking, in your power, in your strength, for the good of yourself and all others, your highest path, the path to joy. Say an affirmation to confirm your decision to walk your path in strength, power, joy and beauty, now and always, and then, taking three deep breaths to awaken first your soul, then your heart and mind, and finally your body, awaken, and smile.
Blessed be.
As you take a fourth deep breath, you reach into the core of the earth, and when you connect, you draw the earth up into your feet. Your feet become the earth, and the earth becomes your feet. Drawing more and more earth into you, your ankles and calves become the earth. The more you draw upon the earth, the more you merge with it. Your knees and thighs become earth, your hips and buttocks, your womb and waist, your chest and spine, your arms and hands, your neck, and finally your head, all become the earth. There is no separation – you are the earth and the earth is you. You are so connected that you can feel the deep pulse of the earth’s heartbeat. You can feel the plants and animals roaming your surface. You can feel the oceans, rivers, lakes and streams that riddle your body. You can feel the air and the clouds flow over you. You can feel the deep heat of magma, and the pressures of your skin flowing over it. You can feel the moon tugging you this way and that. You can feel the sun warming your surface. You are so connected with the earth that your thoughts are her thoughts, and her thoughts are yours, and as you listen, you sink deeper and deeper into her.
Slowly, you become aware of a mountain. This mountain, riddled with caves, calls to you in a way that no other structure on earth calls to you. Your consciousness moves towards that mountain, and when you arrive, you draw yourself up out of the earth so that you can explore it. You find yourself at the base, and you begin to climb. With each step, you become more aware of the things that matter most to you. It’s as if each step, the mountain speaks to you, telling you the deepest secrets of your soul. You not only hear of the things you already know matter to you, but you also discover, hidden away in each step of your life, things you were unaware of, but that matter deeply to you. As you climb, you discover yourself anew, and as you learn about all the things that you consider important, you deliberately and consciously decide to be more dedicated to those things that count, and to let go of the things that either do not matter, or impede your connection with the things that do.
By the time you reach the caves near the top of the mountain, the day has faded, and the full moon has risen above you. As you wonder which cave to enter, you notice that her light seems to be a shining path, guiding you forward and into just the right cave. You enter the cave, and again, each step into the cave teaches you something new… but this time, it doesn’t teach you about the things that are most important to you. Instead, it offers you memories of your past, both of this life, and of lifetimes previous. As you discover each memory, you feel the karma-heavy weight of real history, and deep within that rich, musty, earthy cave you discover not only your own pasts, but the collective past of all humankind. Deeper and deeper you explore this past, and as you walk back through your own history and the history of mankind, you discover the deep wisdom hidden in your cells and in your soul.
When the cave has taught you all you can take in, you know it’s time to return to your body. Thanking the cave for the wisdom it has imparted, you slowly merge back into the earth, sinking through the floor of the cave. You can hear the deep, slow, steady heartbeat of the Mother, calling you home. Following the currents of the earth, you return to your body, and release the earth, letting it drain away. When you are ready, you take three, deep breaths. The first breath awakens your soul. The second breath awakens your heart and mind. The third breath awakens your body. You open your eyes, fresh, relaxed, happy, full of knowledge, and you smile.
In your mind, become aware of your toes. Imagine that your toes are turning from flesh into water, held in a skin of more water. They keep their shape, but they become water. Your toes are becoming water. Your toes are water. And the water flows upwards into your feet, so that your feet are becoming water. Your feet are becoming water. Your feet are water. Now your ankles are becoming water. Your ankles are becoming water. Your ankles are water. And now your lower legs are becoming water. Your calves and shins are becoming water. Your lower legs are water. Your knees are becoming water. Your knees are becoming water. Your knees are water. Your upper legs are becoming water. Your upper legs are becoming water. Your upper legs are water. Your buttocks and hips, your root and your womb are becoming water. Your pelvic region is becoming water. Your pelvic region is water. Your stomach and lower back are becoming water. Your stomach and lower back are becoming water. Your stomach and lower back are water. Your chest and upper back are becoming water. Your chest and upper back are becoming water. Your chest and upper back are water. Your spine and shoulders are becoming water. Your spine and shoulders are becoming water. Your spine and shoulders are water. Your arms are becoming water. Your arms are becoming water. Your arms are water. Your hands and fingers are becoming water. Your hands and fingers are becoming water. Your hands and fingers are water. Your neck and head are becoming water. Your neck and head are becoming water. Your neck and head are water. Your face is becoming water. Your face is becoming water. Your face is water. Your whole body, from the tips of your toes and the balls of your feet to the crown of your head and the tips of your hair is water. In the very center of your body, where your solar plexus is, you see a light. You are drawn into that light, pulled in, diving in to the center of yourself… and with a splash, the water releases, and you are centered, grounded in water, and without body… you are water in water.
Slowly, your awareness crystallizes into a new shape. You are yourself as a child, young and innocent. Before you, but not apart from you, you see yourself as Mother. You feel the two selves, the childself and the motherself, as two distinct parts of yourself, yet you know they are both you, and you are both of them. Your motherself begins to speak to you as your childself. She tells you a truth about your childhood – a theme in your life that has its roots in your childhood. You can see, suddenly, how this theme plays itself out over and over, like ripples in a pond, or an echo in the cliffs, throughout your life… and with this awareness comes the recognition of your own power over this repetition. You know that this theme can be changed by you, removed by you, or kept by you… that the power rests completely in your hands… and you choose in this moment the path that is best for you. With full comprehension of this ripple from your childhood, you have the power to change it or leave it, and you choose to do what is most right for you in this moment, understanding the lesson of the repetition of this childhood theme, and understanding your needs in this moment.
You thank your motherself for her wisdom, and, as your childself, you give her a hug – the hug a child gives a mother, and the hug a mother gives a child. As you hold her, you feel her begin to change, and grow, becoming larger, softer. You now rest your head on the breast of the Great Mother, and as She holds you, you feel as though you have come home – you are completely comforted, feeling loved and mothered, safe against Her breast. You can hear Her heart beating, and the sound surrounds you. You realize you are no longer on Her breast, but inside her womb.
With a sudden wave of water, you are born in a rush. Along with you, the womb of the Earth gives birth to other people, and many animals – birds and insects, frogs and fireflies, deer and leopards, trees and plants, stones and stars… and you realize, this is your family… all the life of the Great Mother Earth, these are your brothers and sisters, your fathers and mothers, your children. The great hawk of the sky, and every cloud in it, the snake on the ground, and every plant on it – the hunters and the prey, the land they move upon, the sky above them, the stars, the planets, to the center of the universe and beyond, you have a vast family. You feel in that moment that although you are small, you have come home. Everything that lives, everything that exists, has a home upon the earth, or spinning within the multiverse.
When you are ready, you know it is time to bring this knowledge of your true home and family back to your present life, your present soul, mind, heart, and body. You take three, deep breaths. The first one gathers the waters that are you together, and awakens your soul. The second breath changes the water into flesh, and awakens your mind and heart. The third breath awakens your body to this world and this reality. You open your eyes, and smile.
Ground and center - connect to the core of yourself, your solar plexus chakra. Imagine that this chakra expands, fills your entire body with yellow light. See that light touch your root and your crown. See that light plunge into the earth, connecting the core of you to the core of the earth through the root chakra. See that light plunge into the universe, connecting the core of you to the core of the universe through the crown chakra. See the core of you connect to the core of the universe through the crown chakra. Take three deep breaths. The first breath relaxes the body. The second breath relaxes the mind. The third breath relaxes the soul.
In your mind, imagine that you find yourself in a land of shadows. It’s warm, safe, familiar, even though it’s dark. You know that, today, joining the shadows is not a scary thing, but actually something to be desired. You look down, and find that your toes are turning into shadow, and blowing away. This isn’t a frightening thing, but a comfortable experience… you feel totally at peace. So your feet become shadow, and blow away. Your calves and shins become shadows, and blow away. Your knees and thighs become shadows, and blow away. Your root and womb become pure light, as your hips and buttocks become shadows, and blow away. Your solar plexus becomes pure light, and your body around it, your stomach and back, become shadows, and blow away. Your heart becomes pure light, and your chest and shoulders become shadows, and blow away. Your arms become shadows, and blow away. Your neck becomes a shadow, and blows away, leaving the brilliant blue light of your throat behind. Your face becomes shadow, and blows away, leaving behind your psychic eye, shining light in the darkness. Your crown becomes pure light, and your head becomes shadows, and blows away. Your body is shadows, and is blown away, blending with all the shadows around you, leaving behind only the brilliant light of your chakras, clean and pure.
You find yourself in a deep, dark cave. The ground you walk on is covered with rocks, so many sharp and jagged points that it’s hard to find your way through the cave to the center… and you almost don’t want to proceed… but you know that it is important that you continue. There’s a close feeling, a pressure, it’s warm and moist, uncomfortable. You pick your way through the rocky debris, moving towards a source of light, coming from the ground in the center of the cave. The light is red, the shadows made very dark. You see your own shadow thrown up against the wall, and you are drawn away from the center, to touch the wall where your shadow stands.
The wall is damp, slick and wet when you touch it. You touch the shadow, and feel as if a hand is touching you. When you touch it, you realize that it speaks to you, in that small voice which we all have inside of us. The shadow tells you something about yourself… a negative belief or behavior you need to get rid of. When you accept that it is time to let go of this negativity, the wall gives way and your hand eases into the rock, to allow you to take hold of that negativity. You experience a slight pain, as if your hand had sunk into your own body, and then a slight relief when your hand is released from the rock, now possessing the negativity. Suddenly, a sharp pain makes you look at the hand now released from the rock. As you look at your palm, a large boil rises from it. You know that the boil represents a sour spot in your soul. As it rises from the center of your palm, it crystallizes and becomes a rock - an unopened geode, encompassing the entire self-destructive trait. Within you, you sense the emptiness where that negativity once lived - a gaping hole inside of you, which makes you feel lighter, a relief, and with a sudden revelation you realize that this is true freedom. You walk to the center of the cave, where you find a fissure, filled with lava, the source of the light. You throw the stone shard that is the negativity you need to release, into the lava, shouting “I release you! I am Free!” You watch the stone piece melt, becoming lava. You reach into the lava, and take a handful of the glowing light, and walk back to your shadow on the wall. Once again, you reach out to touch the shadow on the wall, and your hand sinks into the wall. You can feel your hand sinking into you, as you fill the hole in wall, in yourself, with the hot, glowing lava. You fill yourself with white-hot light. You know that what will bloom in the emptiness where darkness once dwelled will be something of the light, something beautiful, something healthy and pure… you will gain a positive trait in exchange for your negativity.
Knowing yourself truly free, feeling lighter and happier, you leave the cave, thanking the elements of earth and fire as you go.
Slowly, you coalesce from shadow into solidity. Your head becomes solid. Your face becomes solid. Your neck becomes solid. Your shoulders and your arms become solid. Your chest becomes solid. Your back becomes solid. Your stomach, your womb, your hips and your buttocks become solid. Your thighs become solid. Your knees become solid. Your shins and your calves become solid. Your feet become solid. Your toes become solid. You are completely solid, full of light. You ground and center. You take three deep breaths. The first breath awakens the soul. The second breath awakens the heart and the mind. The third breath awakens the body. You awaken, and open your eyes, refreshed, relaxed, and free.
So I use this recipe engine, Supercook. It's a really great engine. But I just switched from Google Chrome, which had some pretty bad security issues, to IE 9... and suddenly Supercook doesn't work.
However, maybe if you've never used Chrome, it will work for you.
You tell it everything you have in your kitchen, and it tells you what you can cook... gives you recipes from like hundreds of other recipe websites, like allrecipes.com, or food.com, or marthastewart.com... but it will only give you recipes you can make based on what you have... or it will suggest a shopping list if it can't find anything.
Seriously... give it a try... You'll love it. I've been baking off it for months, and kept meaning to tell you about it.
So I'll keep using Chrome, for this one site... I love it that much.
Love you...
Below you is a ball of golden light. The light is moving, moving towards your feet… and as it moves into your feet, your feet relax completely. All the stress and tension disappears from them. Slowly, the light expands and moves upwards into your calves, relaxing them completely. And the golden light continues to expand, into your knees… and your thighs… into your root chakra, now red edged with gold…. And it flows up your core, relaxing your body as it flows, into your womb… and then your center… and then your heart… and then your throat… and it flows down your arms into your palms and fingers… and then into your head, your third eye… and your crown… and finally, above you, it connects with the gold chakra six inches above your head… the center of your knowing, Godself… the center of wisdom.
The moment you connect to your gold chakra, you see before you a spiral staircase leading upwards. There is a plaque on a stand next to the stairs, which says “Akashic Library.” There is a rope across the stairs, and a person standing next to them.
You walk forward, knowing that the time has come for you to meet your Librarian, and begin to read your own book, the book of your lives. When you reach the person standing next to the stairs, you say your name. The person unhitches the rope from one side, and gestures you onto the staircase.
You begin your ascent, and in the beginning, you count the stairs… 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10…11…12… Finally, you reach the top of the stairs, and come to a double set of glass doors edged in a golden metal, one before the other. You enter the Library, passing through both sets of doors… and walk up to the desk you find, just inside.
You tell the Librarian behind the desk your name, and ask to see your book. The Librarian smiles, nods, and rings a bell… the sound echoes pleasantly in your head, and all around you.
Soon, another Librarian arrives, one familiar to you. This Librarian is the one who cares for your Book. With a gesture towards you that says to follow, your Librarian leads you into the Library, and straight to your Book. Placing your Book into your hands, the Librarian bows to you, and then leads you into a small chamber nearby, with a desk in it which has a slanted top, a well-placed reading lamp, and a comfortable chair. After you enter, the Librarian politely closes the door behind you, but remains just outside. You know that when you are finished reading, your Librarian will again take charge of your book, carefully placing it back where it belongs before leading you back to the entrance to the Library.
Sitting down at the desk in the comfortable chair, you lay your book on the desk, open it up, and begin to read… and as you read, as if you had lost a memory and only just rediscovered it, you begin to remember your lives, and tap into your incredible wisdom.
Take as long as you need.
When you are ready, get up from the desk. Stretch a bit. Walk to the door, letting your Librarian back in to again take charge of your book.
After the Librarian places the book back where it belongs, you are led back to the desk and the front doors. You thank your Librarian, and the Librarian at the desk, and leave the Library, slowly walking down the spiral staircase and back to consciousness.
You again count the steps. 12…11…10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1... and then you become aware again of the gold light within you. You take a moment to ground and center, sending the golden light back down into the earth. With a deep breath, you awaken your soul to this reality. With a second deep breath, you awaken your mind to this reality. With a third and final deep breath, you awaken your body to this reality, and open your eyes.
"How will my day go, today?"
1) The Fool - A need to trust that the Universe is truly a wholesome place, and that the next step along your path, while unknown right now, will be a positive one, revealed at the appropriate time.
2) Temperance Reversed - A sense that now is not the right time to try anything new or to make any major changes.
3) 5 of Swords Reversed - Building boundaries will restore the balance and rebuild your reputation.
All together these three cards suggest that today will be filled with anxieties about the shifting sands of the future, and it might be more productive to think less on what will be, and more about what is, right now. Taking time to decide exactly where you stand, and communicating this effectively, will help you deal with whatever the future brings in a calm and centered way.
Reversed Four of Cups
King of Coins
Nine of Coins
King of Coins
Nine of Coins
Deck used: The Legacy of the Divine Tarot
Spread used: Simple three card spread
Question: "How will my day go, today?"
Guess I'm doing housework today. lol
Guess I'm doing housework today. lol
Now, beginning with your toes, relax your body. Relax so deeply, your body becomes liquid. Your body becomes warm and relaxing water. Your toes and your fingers are becoming water, your toes and your fingers are water, your toes and your fingers are completely relaxed. Your hands and your feet are becoming water, your hands and your feet are water, your hands and your feet are totally relaxed. Your wrists and your ankles are becoming water, your wrists and your ankles are water, your wrists and your ankles are completely relaxed. (Continue relaxing calves and forearms, thighs and upper arms, hips and shoulders, body and neck, face and head.)
You are completely relaxed, completely water. You sink deep into the center of yourself, diving down, down, down, until you come to awareness beside a creek that is flowing into a cave. The full moon above you, the sounds of the night – crickets, owls and other night birds, frogs, the burbling of the stream, the stars, the rustle of trees in the breeze – all bring to you a feeling of safety, security. You feel so content; you could almost stay here forever.
Looking around, you catch sight of the cave again, and though it is quite fulfilling to remain beside the river, your curiosity, and something deep within you that isn’t quite so calm, drives you to examine it closer. That restless feeling within you, that slight discontented disturbance, seems to be pulled out of your depths by the very stars above you.
You follow the rivulet into the cave. As you go deeper, you discover that there is a path, a glowing pattern of cave moss that leads you onward by its dim illumination. The creek quickly sinks into the ground, leaving you with only the pale illumination of the lichens to guide your way. You feel no fear, but only a driving restlessness guiding your steps onward.
As you continue down into the depths, you begin to hear the sound of dripping water coming from up ahead. With one hand on a wall of the tunnel, you begin to seek the water, knowing, somehow, that only discovering the source of that sound will quell the disquiet within you. Your steps become faster, and faster, as you go deeper and deeper.
Finally, in a headlong rush, you come to an enormous chamber at the heart of the cave, and in the center, there is a pool, and it is there that you find the source of the dripping sound. Water trickles down a stalactite thicker around that you are tall, emphasizing the size of the chamber by its length.
The pool of water below it is so black in the dim light of the cave moss, it almost looks like a pool made of pure shadow, but an odd, pearlescent light coming from its depths reflects off the stalactite above it… and suddenly you know that this is the source of your dissatisfaction – and what lies within is the solution. Peering into its depths, you see faint outlines of sunken treasure, all of it emitting the strange light… and you know you have to examine the items closer.
You test the water with your hand. It has a faint, mineral scent to it, but it is warm and comfortable, smooth as silk against your skin. Slowly, you lower yourself into the water.
Taking a deep breath, you bend over, and thrust yourself into the depths, diving towards the bottom below you. You can feel the water pressing against your ears, sliding along your skin, the bubbles formed by your pumping legs as you kick yourself deeper and deeper, reaching for the sand and the secrets buried there.
When you reach the bottom, you discover that you can sit on the ground quite comfortably, and that you can breathe the water. You know you can stay down here for as long as you need. You begin to explore the treasured objects buried here. The first one you pick up startles you, because as you touch it, you receive an emotion-laden memory of what formed it. It is a memory and an emotion from your past. Surprised, you drop it… but then, wonderingly, you pick it up again, and watch the memory, feeling the emotions from that moment as clearly as if you were there all over again.
When you have received the full memory, you let the item fall, and move to pick up another one, and another, and another. You explore every item buried in the sands around you… and as you touch them, you begin to feel that some are more important, more urgent, than others.
When you have examined all the objects, thank them for the memories. Choosing the most urgent item, push yourself off the ground, and carry it back to the surface of the pool with you, along with the memory and the emotions that belong to it.
Place it on the ground beside the pool, and pull yourself out of the water. When you are out of the water, you turn to contemplate the object again, and discover that it has become another you – the person that you were when the emotion-laden memory was formed. Now, you have the opportunity to resolve the restlessness, the discontent, and the troubled emotions that you have carried with you from this event.
You sit down with your younger self, and begin to speak from your older awareness, and your understanding of where you are now. You converse with your younger self, saying what that self needs to hear, to release those old, stale emotions, to let go of the pain you’re holding onto.
When the process is complete, your younger self becomes the object once more. You pick up the item, and hold it to your chest. As it melts into your heart chakra and heals the old wound, you smile, and say “This is cleared!”
When you are ready, you return to the surface, following the cave moss, and then the creek, back to the surface, and from that surface, back to consciousness. You take three deep breaths… the first one awakens your soul to this reality. The second breath awakens your heart and mind to this reality. The third breath awakens your body to this reality.
Now, open your eyes, and smile. You have healed a moment from your past. Brightest Blessings!
Now, imagine that you see a golden ball of beautiful, warm light surrounding your feet. The golden ball of warm light brings peace and total relaxation. Wherever the ball of light goes, tension departs. Let it go, and as it goes, feel your feet filled with the warm, golden glow of peace and total relaxation.
Now allow this ball of light to rise up your legs and up your torso. Then allow it to go down your arms to your fingers, and finally up your neck and into your head until you are completely covered with the warm, golden glow of total peace and relaxation, and all tension is gone. If you notice tension anywhere, send the ball of light there and the tension will vanish.
Take three deep breaths, from the womb, from the root. Breathe in the ball of light. With the first breath, forget your body. With the second breath, the mind and heart relax so completely, all is silent. With the third breath, you become pure soul, your god-self. You remember the moment you stepped through the mirror in your temple – you remember it so clearly, you experience that moment all over again.
You remember that a breeze moved through the temple, and the surface of the mirror rippled. Your hand sank into the flowing, liquid metal, and grasped the hand of your soul’s true self. Without thought, you stepped into the mirror, and as you did, your true self stepped into you, blending two into one, one soul, one mind, one heart, one body, without meaningless imperfections.
You remember becoming your God-self, and looking around you. You remember seeing the world, seeing each person in this room, seeing the truth… that we are all one, and that we are all perfect. No flaws, no injuries, no sickness, no sorrow. We are God.
You turn to look behind you, and see the mirror you stepped through. In its reflection, you see the other side of the temple – the old self, the old life, the side you left behind – and you are filled with joy at who you have become – so filled with happiness that you have to share your pleasure in the world around you, and its perfection, which echoes your own. You face the mirror, and blow on its surface.
It ripples, and the image of the life you left behind disappears. In its place you see your new self, your God-self. You blow on the surface a second time and the image of you changes – as the Goddess once looked into her sacred mirror and saw the God, and drew him out of it so that she would no longer be alone, now you see before you, and draw out, your own perfect and equal opposite.
You gaze into your other self’s eyes, and again are overcome with joy and love for your two selves – so filled with it, you clasp the hands of your opposite self and begin to dance – using movement to express what words cannot.
As all creation Gods and Goddesses before you, as you dance with yourself, your opposite, everywhere you step, flowers spring up – and you know that these are the seeds of your intentions, growing up in your life. You are overwhelmed with the exquisiteness of your creations – and even the plants in the shadows, created by your negativity, teach you something, and have their own strange beauty. You dance, and dance, laughing and in love, full of joy, of possibilities, and hope, all around the room, covering the room in all the things you have created for yourself in your lifetime – until breathless, both your selves come to a halt, once again before the mirror.
Your female self stands before the mirror with her back to it, and face your opposite Self. The male half of you kneels before the female half of you. He kisses her right foot and her left foot, saying “Blessed be thy feet, which have brought thee in these ways.” He kisses her right knee and her left knee, saying “Blessed be thy knees, which shall kneel at the sacred altar.” He kisses her womb, and says “Blessed be thy womb, without which we would not be.” He kisses her right breast and her left breast, saying “Blessed be thy breasts, formed in beauty.” He kisses her lips, embracing her length to length with your feet touching, and says “Blessed be thy lips, which shall utter the Sacred Names.”
Then he kneels before her again and says, touching her right breast, left breast, and womb twice, ending at the right breast again, “I invoke thee and call upon thee, Mighty Mother of us All, bringer of fruitfulness; by seed and root, by bud and stem, by leaf and flower and fruit, by life and love do I invoke thee to descend upon the body of this thy servant and priestess.”
Still kneeling, he then says “Hail, Goddess! From thy blessed womb pour forth thy store of love; I bow before thee, I adore thee to the end, with loving sacrifice thy shrines adorn.” Kissing her right foot, he says, “Thy foot is to my lip, my prayer up-borne upon the rising incense-smoke; then spend Thine ancient love, O Mighty One, descend to aid me, who without thee am forlorn.”
He stands up, and takes a step backwards, still facing her. She draws the Invoking Pentagram of Earth (from the top to the bottom left, to the middle right, to the middle left, to the bottom right, to the top), with her right forefinger, saying “Of the Mother darksome and divine, mine the scourge, and mine the kiss; the five-point star of love and bliss – here I charge you, in this sign.”
The ritual of Drawing Down the Moon is complete, and now he and she trade places, moving clockwise, so that you may draw down the Sun.
She gives him the five-fold kiss, saying as she kisses his right foot and his left foot: “Blessed be thy feet, which have brought thee in these ways. She kisses his right knee and his left knee, saying “Blessed be thy knees, which shall kneel at the sacred altar.” She kisses him just above the pubic hair, saying “Blessed be thy phallus, without which we would not be.” She kisses his right breast and his left breast, saying, “Blessed be thy breast, formed in strength.” She kisses his lips, embracing him length to length with feet touching, saying “Blessed be thy lips, which shall utter the sacred names.”
She steps back a pace and kneels before him, saying, “Deep calls on height, the Goddess on the God, on him who is the flame that quickens her; that he and she may seize the silver reins and ride as one the twin-horsed chariot. Let the hammer strike the anvil, let the lightening touch the earth, let the Lance ensoul the Grail; let the magic come to birth.” With her right forefinger, she touches his throat, left hip, right breast, left breast, right hip, and throat again, forming the invoking pentagram of fire. Spreading her hands outward, palms forward, she says “In her name do I invoke thee, mighty father of us all – Lugh, Pan, Belin, Herne, Cernunnos – come in answer to my call! Descend, I pray thee, in thy servant and priest.”
She stands, and takes a step backwards. He makes the invoking pentagram of fire before her with his right forefinger (from the top to the bottom right, to the middle left, to the middle right, to the bottom left, to the top again) saying “Let there be light.”
The two halves of your Godself clasp hands, embracing length to length, and you become One again – and know the power of your own Godhood.
Knowing your power, knowing that you are the Creatrix and Creator of your life, your reality, your destiny, knowing now that you are a Power to be reckoned with, that you are One, and you are GOD, you know it is time to bring that knowledge into consciousness.
You take three deep breaths, and begin to awaken. The first breath awakens your soul to this reality. Your second breath awakens your heart and your mind to this reality. The third breath awakens your body to this reality. You take a final deep breath, and open your eyes, knowing your own power and greatness, knowing you are Goddess and God, in one body, in one soul… knowing your true self.
After something a little acquisitive tried to steal me from my Patrons, resulting in the utter destruction of my Temple and my Hall, we've temporarily relocated - guides, patrons, and all - to a conference hall in the Akashic Library, and I've stopped hiding under glamour, instead stepping into my power and my full self.
I'm still not sure what all this means.
Don't get trapped by the idea that you must have a need before a spell will work. No, you merely need to have the perception of a need - and that is easily created within the mind, as with all perceptions. However, approach this creation of the sensation of need with caution. There is a fine line, which must not be crossed, whereby there is a feeling of need, without there being an actual need. Do not create the loss of the thing you are casting for by becoming too much involved with the need of that thing - need it to already be, without needing it because you don't have it. One mindset tells the universe to pay attention and convinces It to give you what you're asking for... the other tells the Universe you actually want to not have it.
To overcome a bad childhood: Plant - Valerian; Goddess - Atlanta
To recover from a bad childhood: Color - Pink; Stone - Pink Calcite, Rose Quartz To protect the happiness and welfare of children: Goddess - Sasthi
To protect a needy child: Goddess - Akonadi
To comfort sick or distressed children in crisis: Goddess - Yemaya
To help children after accidents or trauma: Plant - Sweet Potato
To increase a child's emotional security: Charm - Teddy Bear; Potion - Chamomile Tea
To protect small/young children: Plant - Fava Bean; Goddess - Artemis, Kwan Yin, Yemaya; God - Legba
To defend children: Goddess - Boldogasszony
To protect children: Moon; Animal - Bear, Cheetah, Musk Ox; Stone - agate, alum, amber, coral, malachite; Metal - Gold, silver; Plant - Angelica, Dill, Flax, Putranjiva Seed; Goddess: Artemis, Athirat, Bast, Boldogasszony, Brigid, Cairene, Hariti, Hecate, Isis, Kishi-Mojin, Sasthi, Sekhmet (The Great Cow Who Protects Her Child), Ursula, Yashoda; God - Acat, Bes, Chang Hsien (Protector of Children), Jizo; Evocation - Hariti
To protect children from bad influences: Stone - Citrine
To protect children from danger: Stone - Coral
To protect children when they leave home: Goddess - Abeona
To protect children while sleeping: Plant - Garlic; Goddess - Cardea
To protect children while sleeping: Plant - Garlic; Goddess - Cardea
To protect small/young children: Plant - Fava Bean; Goddess - Kwan Yin, Yemaya; God - Legba
To protect teenagers: Stone - Citrine
To save a child's life: Goddess - Isis; God - Maximon, Thoth
To take care of children: Goddess - Renenet
To prevent child abuse: Goddess - Isis, Kali
To protect against child abuse: Goddess - Kali, Sekhmet
To prosecute child abuse: Goddess - Isis
To avenge abuse: Goddess - The Crone; God - Bran, Hephaestus
To protect against abuse: Color - Black; Stone - Jasper, Lapis Lazuli, Obsidian, Smoky Quartz; Plant - Dragon's Blood, Frankincense, Laurel, Saffron
To recover from abuse: Plant - Onion; Goddess - Rhiannon
To prevent child abuse: Goddess - Isis, Kali
To protect against child abuse: Goddess - Kali, Sekhmet
To prosecute child abuse: Goddess - Isis
To avenge abuse: Goddess - The Crone; God - Bran, Hephaestus
To protect against abuse: Color - Black; Stone - Jasper, Lapis Lazuli, Obsidian, Smoky Quartz; Plant - Dragon's Blood, Frankincense, Laurel, Saffron
To recover from abuse: Plant - Onion; Goddess - Rhiannon
As you release your third breath, you awaken to find yourself standing in the nest of some bird, on the very top of a high, craggy mountain, with the sky above you, and newly budding forests below you, both stretching as far as you can see. Clouds drift by, and many birds cross the blue expanse, below a full moon. This is the seed moon, a time of conception, fertility, new growth, and new beginnings. All the trees below you are budding out, in blossom and in leaf. Daffodils, crocuses, and tulips abound in newly grassed, sunny vales, and the sounds of the nesting birds fill the forests and the air around you.
Looking out at the world, your attention is caught by the energy of the full moon above you. Your mind is suddenly filled with a desire for your own new beginning. You can feel the energy of the moon above you, and you reach for it, drawing it down into your body, from your crown to your root. The yellow energy you draw into your crown feels soft, breezy, feathery gentle, and as it touches you, it changes you. As it cascades through your body, from the crown of your head down your spine and into your feet, you erupt into feathered glory, becoming one of the great eagles of the heights.
With your new eyes, you see so much further than before… and something catches your eyes, far away. It is a Grecian styled temple, and you are drawn to explore it. Flinging your wings out into the breeze, you cry a piercing call as you launch from the nest into the air. Within moments, you catch a warm rising current, and begin gliding towards the temple in the distance. As you feel the air ruffling your feathers, you know yourself supreme – every other creature, on wing and on the ground, exists below you. Your eyes catch them all – rabbits coming out of their burrows to eat the new spring greens, robins building their nests, fish in the rivers, returning to spawn… you see every sign of the new season below you, and even feel the storm that will soon bring drenching rains to feed the new growth.
When you have drifted close enough to the temple, you know it is time to land. You mantle your feathers, pulling your wings close to your body as you lean into the wind, towards the earth, and plummet in a controlled fall towards the structure below. At the very last moment, you back-wing as your feet pull forwards, and you land on the ground before the entrance. The moment your feet touch the earth, your natural shape returns. You are bird no more but the memory will last a lifetime. Taking a moment to thank the air for the gift, you stand, and walk, naked, into the temple.
As you pass through the entrance and into the pillared hall, you notice a huge silver mirror standing in the center of the shadowy interior. You are drawn towards it, and when you look within the mirror, you see yourself as you are now – all the imperfections, all the flaws you believe of your character and your body – but the false images do not last. Your reflection shifts, as if the mirror is made of mercury, and a new image begins to form – the image of your true self, your God-self… and just as your hand rests on the glass before you, so does the hand of your true self.
A breeze moves through the temple, and the surface of the mirror ripples. Your hand sinks into the flowing, liquid metal, and grasps the hand of your soul’s true self. Without thought, you step into the mirror, and as you do, your true self steps into you, blending two into one, one soul, one mind, one heart, one body, without meaningless imperfections.
Take the time, as your God-self, to look around you. See the world, see each person in this room, see the truth… that we are all one, and that we are all perfect. No flaws, no injuries, no sickness, no sorrow. We are God.
When you are ready, take three deep breaths. The first breath awakens your soul to this reality – still your God-self. The second breath awakens your mind to this reality, still your God-self, as you bring your true self into one with your mind. The third breath awakens your body, still your God-self, you know your body as perfect. When you are ready, open your eyes, and see the world as new.
I long for torrents, dream of drenching drizzles.
I wish for nitrogen green, thunderous black, striking white...
I pray for dreamy reflecting wet, pebbles on the windowpanes, drizzling damp decorations...
I desire cat-and-dog weather.
I seek sheets, showers, falls, floods - a monsoon of momentous proportions...
Please, may it rain.
I wish for nitrogen green, thunderous black, striking white...
I pray for dreamy reflecting wet, pebbles on the windowpanes, drizzling damp decorations...
I desire cat-and-dog weather.
I seek sheets, showers, falls, floods - a monsoon of momentous proportions...
Please, may it rain.
*written because I am out at the parents' place. Hadn't seen R. in a few days, and if it rained, then he wouldn't be able to do the yard work for his parents, so he'd come see me instead. I didn't get any weather, but I did get my wish - he got done with work early and drove all the way out here to see me. Turns out he missed me as much as I missed him. Ain't it grand. :D
Your body is a poem
A storm in a foreign language,
A tangle of tongues,
Swift sibilant heat,
Your body is a poem
A strong line that holds mine
Generous in nature,
Fearless courage
That brings the walls down.
Your body is a poem
That tumbles me thoughtless,
Breathless,
Crashing into wordless wonder.
Your body is a poem
To shatter minds
And make the heart to beat.
You speak the song
Of my own.
K. Christmas
A tutelary (also tutelar) is a spirit or deity in the position of a guardian, patron or protector of a particular place, geographic feature, person, lineage, nation, culture or occupation in polytheistic or animist religion. Both tutelary and tutelar can be used as either a noun or an adjective. An analogous concept in Christianity is the patron saint, or to a lesser degree, guardian angel.
Contents [hide]
1 Tutelary genius, protecting spirit, familiar spirit
2 By culture
2.1 Near East and Mediterranean
2.1.1 Ancient Greece
2.1.2 Ancient Rome
2.2 Asia
2.3 Americas
2.4 Africa
3 See also
4 Notes
[edit]Tutelary genius, protecting spirit, familiar spirit
This section may require copy-editing.
Pierre A. Riffard[1] defines a tutelary spirit as either a tutelary genius (present ever since birth) or a protecting spirit (that can help in times of trouble) or a familiar spirit (a mate, who is a double of self, even though totally different).
a) A tutelary genius is a strictly personal deity or demon who has presided over the destiny of every man or woman, ever since birth, until the time of his or her death, when the spirit eventually disappears. Since childhood Socrates had been hearing the voice of his personal spirit or daimonion, prohibiting him doing things. "You have often heard me speak of an oracle or sign which comes to me, and is the divinity which Meletus ridicules in the indictment. This sign I have had ever since I was a child. The sign is a voice which comes to me and always forbids me to do something which I am going to do, but never commands me to do anything, and this is what stands in the way of my being a politician" (Plato, Apology of Socrates, 40 b).
b) The protecting spirit (guardian spirit, spirit helper) is a force, a soul, or a deity that helps the shaman or the magician. It can be an animal, a plant, a mineral or the spirit of ancestors. It can either be collective or individual. According to Michael Harner (The Sound of Rushing Water, 1968), among the Jivaro (Shuar people), "the tsentsak, these spirit helpers, or darts, are the main supernatural forces believed to cause illness and death in daily life. To the non-shaman they are normally invisible, and even shamans can perceive them only under the influence of natema [a hallucinogenic drink]. Shamans send those spirit helpers into the victims bodies to make them ill or to kill them. At other times, they may suck spirits sent by enemy shamans from the bodies of tribesmen suffering from witchcraft induced illness. The spirit helpers also form shields that protect their shaman masters from attacks. According to Jivaro concepts, each tsentsak has a natural and supernatural aspect. The magical darts natural aspect is that of an ordinary material object as seen without drinking the drug natema. But the supernatural and true aspect of the tsentsak is revealed to the shaman by taking natema. When he does this, the magical darts appear in new forms as demons and with new names. In their supernatural aspects, the tsentsak are not simply objects but spirit helpers in various forms, such as giant butterflies, jaguars, or monkeys, who actively assist the shaman in his tasks."
c) A familiar spirit is the double, the alter-ego of an individual. It does not look like the individual concerned. Even though it may have an independent life of its own it remains closely linked to the individual. The familiar spirit can be an animal, also called "familiar pet". A witch can have a black cat, or a toad, an owl, with which she exchanges information and signs. The medicine-man, in Australian aboriginal societies, also has his familiar spirit (his personal totem), which can be a snake, for instance. "A usual method, or explanation, is that the medicine man sends his ‘familiar spirit’ (his assistant totem, spirit-dog, spirit-child or whatever the form may be) to gather the information. While this is occurring, the man himself is in a state of receptivity, in sleep or trance. In modern phraseology [spiritism], his ‘familiar spirit’ would be the control [control spirit]" (A. P. Elkin, Aboriginal men of high degree, 1945, 48).
Mircea Eliade : "The Goldi [Nanai people in Siberia] clearly distinguish between the tutelary spirit (ayami), which chooses the shaman, and the helping spirits (syven), which are subordinate to it and are granted to the shaman by the ayami itself. According to Sternberg the Goldi explain the relations between the shaman and his ayami by a complex sexual emotion. Here is the report of a Goldi shaman.
‘Once I was asleep on my sick-bed, when a spirit approached me. It was a very beautiful woman. Her figure was very slight, she was no more than half an arshin (71 cm.) tall. Her face and attire were quite as those of one of our Gold women… She said: 'I am the ayami of your ancestors, the Shamans. I taught them shamaning. Now I am going to teach you… I love you, I have no husband now, you will be my husband and I shall be a wife unto you. I shall give you assistant spirits. You are to heal with their aid, and I shall teach and help you myself…’ Sometimes she comes under the aspect of an old woman, and sometimes under that of a wolf, so she is terrible to look at. Sometimes she comes as a winged tiger… She has given me three assistants-the jarga (the panther), the doonto (the bear) and the amba (the tiger). They come to me in my dreams, and appear whenever I summon them while shamaning. If one of them refuses to come, the ayami makes them obey, but, they say, there are some who do not obey even the ayami. When I am shamaning, the ayami and the assistant spirits are possessing me; whether big or small, they penetrate me, as smoke or vapour would. When the ayami is within me, it is she who speaks through my mouth, and she does everything herself'." [2]
[edit]By culture
[edit]Near East and Mediterranean
Further information: Cities of the Ancient Near East and É (temple)
[edit]Ancient Greece
See also: Twelve Olympians
In Greek polytheism, Athena was the patron goddess of the city of Athens.
[edit]Ancient Rome
The walls of the city she protects are represented by the crown of Cybele
Tutelary deities who guard and preserve a place or a person are fundamental to ancient Roman religion. The tutelary deity of an individual was his Genius, or that of a woman her Juno.[3] In the Imperial era, the Genius of the Emperor was a focus of Imperial cult. An emperor might also adopt a major deity as his personal patron or tutelary,[4] as Augustus did Apollo.[5] Precedents for claiming the personal protection of a deity were established in the Republican era, when for instance the Roman dictator Sulla advertised the goddess Victory as his tutelary by holding public games (ludi) in her honor.[6]
Each town or city had one or more tutelary deities, whose protection was considered particularly vital in time of war and siege. Rome itself was protected by a goddess whose name was to be kept ritually secret on pain of death (for a supposed case, see Quintus Valerius Soranus).[7] The Capitoline Triad of Juno, Jupiter, and Minerva were also tutelaries of Rome.[8] The Italic towns had their own tutelary deities. Juno often had this function, as at the Latin town of Lanuvium and the Etruscan city of Veii,[9] and was often housed in an especially grand temple on the arx (citadel) or other prominent or central location.[10] The tutelary deity of Praeneste was Fortuna, whose oracle was renowned.[11] The Roman ritual of evocatio was premised on the belief that a town could be made vulnerable to military defeat if the power of the tutelary deity were diverted outside the city, perhaps by the offer of superior cult at Rome.[12] The depiction of some goddesses such as the Magna Mater (Cybele) as "tower-crowned" represents their capacity to preserve the city.[13] A town in the provinces might adopt a deity from within the Roman religious sphere to serve as its guardian, or syncretize its own tutelary with such; for instance, a community within the civitas of the Remi in Gaul adopted Apollo as its tutelary, and at the capital of the Remi (present-day Reims), the tutelary was Mars Camulus.[14]
Lararium depicting tutelary deities of the house: the ancestral Genius (center) flanked by two Lares, with a guardian serpent below
Tutelary deities were also attached to sites of a much smaller scale, such as storerooms, crossroads, and granaries. Each Roman home had a set of protective deities: the Lar or Lares of the household or familia, whose shrine was a lararium; the Penates who guarded the storeroom (penus) of the innermost part of the house; Vesta, whose sacred site in each house was the hearth; and the Genius of the paterfamilias, the head of household.[15] The poet Martial lists the tutelary deities who watch over various aspects of his farm.[16] The architecture of a granary (horreum) featured niches for images of the tutelary deities, who might include the genius loci or guardian spirit of the site, Hercules, Silvanus, Fortuna Conservatrix ("Fortuna the Preserver") and in the Greek East Aphrodite and Agathe Tyche.[17]
The Lares Compitales were the tutelary gods of a neighborhood (vicus), each of which had a compitum (shrine) devoted to these.[18] During the Republic, the cult of local or neighborhood tutelaries sometimes became rallying points for political and social unrest.
[edit]Asia
Chinese folk religion, both past and present, includes a myriad of tutelary deities. Exceptional individuals may become deified after death. Guan Yu is a well-known tutelary from the Three Kingdoms period.
In Korean shamanism, jangseung and sotdae were placed at the edge of villages to frighten off demons. They were also worshiped as deities.
In Shinto, the spirits, or kami, which give life to human bodies come from nature and return to it after death. Ancestors are therefore themselves tutelaries to be worshiped.
In Hinduism, tutelary deities are known as ishta-devata and Kuldevi or Kuldevta. Devas can also be seen as tutelary. Shiva is patron of yogis and renunciants.
Thai provincial capitals have tutelary city pillars and palladiums.
Tibetan Buddhism has yidams as tutelary. Dakini is the patron of those who seek knowledge.
[edit]Americas
Native American religion, (see also Animism, Shamanism) has extensive and varied systems of zoomorphic tutelaries, (also known as power animals). In Mesoamerica these tutelary power animals are called Nagual in the Aztec language and Uay in the Maya language.
[edit]Africa
In many of the animistic African religions, tutelaries appear in a variety of forms. The Binou cult of the Dogon people of Mali have totems around their villages.
[edit]See also
Look up tutelary in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
Look up tutelar in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
Animal spirit
Animism
Familiar spirit
Genius (mythology)
Genius loci
Nagual
Patron saint
Power animal
Totem
Uay
[edit]Notes
^ Pierre A. Riffard, Nouveau dictionnaire de l’ésotérisme, Paris: Payot, 2008, 114-115, 136-137.
^ Mircea Eliade, Shamanism. Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy (1968), Princeton University Press, 2004, 72, quoting Leo Sternberg, Divine Election in Primitive Religion, Congrès International des Américanistes, 1924, 476 ff.
^ Nicole Belayche, "Religious Actors in Daily Life: Practices and Beliefs," in A Companion to Roman Religion (Blackwell, 2007), p. 279.
^ Ittai Gradel, Emperor Worship and Roman Religion (Oxford University Press, 2002), pp. 104–105.
^ Michael Lipka, Roman Gods: A Conceptual Approach (Brill, 2009), pp. 20–21; Gradel, Emperor Worship and Roman Religion, p. 116.
^ Frank Bernstein, "Complex Rituals: Games and Processions in Republican Rome," in A Companion to Roman Religion, pp. 231ff.
^ Jörg Rüpke, Religion of the Romans (Polity Press, 2007, originally published in German 2001), pp. 132–133.
^ Lipka, Roman Gods, pp. 23–24.
^ Gary Forsythe, A Critical History of Early Rome: From Prehistory to the First Punic War (University of California Press, 2005, 2006), p. 128.
^ Rüpke, Religion of the Romans, p. 132, citing Macrobius Saturnalia 3.9.
^ P. G. P. Meyboom, The Nile Mosaic of Palestrina: Early Evidence of Egyptian Religion in Italy (Brill, 1995), preface (n.p. online) and p. 160.
^ Lipka, Roman Gods, pp. 126–127; Clifford Ando, "Exporting Roman Religion," in A Companion to Roman Religion (Blackwell, 2007), p. 441.
^ Lipka, Roman Gods, p. 123, citing Lucretius, De rerum natura 2.606–609.
^ Ton Derks, Gods, Temples, and Ritual Practices: The Transformation of Religious Ideas and Values in Roman Gaul (Amsterdam University Press, 1998), pp. 100, 105, 108–109, noting that "local elites … were well aware of the mythological tales connected with the various Roman gods, and in the choice of a tutelary god for their civitas or pagus opted deliberately for a deity who, in all his aspects, was most in keeping with their own perception of the world."
^ Valerie M. Warrior, Roman Religion (Cambridge University Press, 2006), pp. 28–29.
^ Martial, Epigrams 10.92, as cited by Warrior, Roman Religion, pp. 29–30.
^ Geoffrey Rickman, Roman Granaries and Store Buildings (Cambridge University Press, 1971), pp. 35, 52, 57, 313–314.
^ Gradel, Emperor Worship and Roman Religion, p. 11; Robert E.A. Palmer, The Archaic Community of the Romans (Cambridge University Press, 2009), p. 81 online.
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Categories: Deities, spirits, and mythic beings | Mythological archetypes | Tutelary | Deities by association | Mythology stubs
Lay out the runes with Spirit in the center, Earth being above you, Water to the left, Fire below you, and Air to the right.
Spirit - You Now
Othala (Prosperity) - "We inherit ourselves." Othala deals with the inheritance of a household or estate - the prosperity of family wealth. However, on a deeper level, Othala talks about what we inherit from the people we love, the wounds and strengths we gain from our families, both from genetic wisdom and from nurturing.
This suggests that I am in a place where I know myself, my strengths, my weaknesses, what I've gained from my family and how this informs my nature - and I am happy with who I've become, even if there are still some things that need work.
Earth - Physical Lessons
Earth - Physical Lessons
Hagalaz (Disruption) - Radical change for the better.
I've made a decision - I had a choice, to live in fear and be consumed by it, or to live in hope. Just as I once had to choose to focus on the negative memories, and be miserable, or to forget them all and only retain the positive and be happy, this decision will create some disruption, but choosing to control my fears, choosing to really live, will be a change for the better.
Water - Emotional Lessons
Water - Emotional Lessons
Sowilo (Self) - Soul Guidance, Success in Meeting Goals, Revelation that Leads to Wholeness.
"You control your emotions. Fear is an emotion. Control your fears or they will control and consume you." The tarot reading was pretty blunt, and it really hit home. This revelation led to a choice - I will not be consumed by anything or anyone. I will not be consumed by any negative emotion, and definitely not fear. I've been down that road, and it doesn't make me happy. So, from now on, if it makes me nervous, I'm going to face it, head on.
Fire - Unfolding Destiny
Fire - Unfolding Destiny
Gebo (Gift) - "The Sacred Marriage", Magickal Exchange (esp. Sex Magick), Divine Visions, Giving of Oneself from Within
Just as courage is the compliment of fear, love is the result of fearlessness. Having made the decision to conquer my fears means I have also made the decision to open myself up to true sharing - to truly give a gift of myself. But Gebo is not a rune of giving without return - a true gift implies a responsibility to receive in equal amounts. That this is my unfolding destiny suggests that I'm in the process of learning this right now.
Air - Future Wisdom
Tiwaz (Victory) - Justice, Sacrifice
Tiwaz literally means balance - justice ruled from higher rationality and the sacrifice of the self for that higher wisdom - building spiritual will and developing sound judgment. It is also a victory of the soul over the ego, where true honesty replaces self-deception.
I keep getting these incredibly insightful messages about myself and my life, and because I'm a fritter-head, I keep forgetting them. So I'm fixing that, here and now.
Again...
TYVMOther tags that are new include: Rants, Neighborhood, News, Links, Lolz, Desire.
Tags planned for later: Faerie.
Over the many years, I have reevaluated this word many times, and I still am not quite sure how to explain it, but I'm going to try.
Family is the word I use for the people I love. Not necessarily those I'm related to, but the people without whom I could not be myself. I would be lessened by their loss. That you are perusing this suggests that you probably are a member of mine, or I yours, or both. (I hope it's both.)
I can see the faces of my family in my mind.
My sister and best friend MB from Boarding School when I was 13.
My sister and best friend KF in High School. We once planned to raise our kids together, commune like.
My almost-best-friends DR and RH, also from High School.
My friends from Delaware, who were with me for the worst part of my life - T and R, RO'N, DP, my sister TB.
My sister and best friend from TX, GMS, and my sister and best friend here in MO, KB, and S and J from the meet-up group, and finally, my student and almost son in St. Louis, M, and my friends in the apartments I live at - B, and TH.
It's not a long list, but every person on it is part of my family.
We're not blood relatives. There will never be a family reunion (outside of FB) where we all gather and catch up on what those crazy cousins did last summer. I will never give you a kidney and have it match, but I've given you something so much stronger and more valuable. I've given you my heart and my trust... and you have given me yours.
My sister and best friend MB from Boarding School when I was 13.
My sister and best friend KF in High School. We once planned to raise our kids together, commune like.
My almost-best-friends DR and RH, also from High School.
My friends from Delaware, who were with me for the worst part of my life - T and R, RO'N, DP, my sister TB.
My sister and best friend from TX, GMS, and my sister and best friend here in MO, KB, and S and J from the meet-up group, and finally, my student and almost son in St. Louis, M, and my friends in the apartments I live at - B, and TH.
It's not a long list, but every person on it is part of my family.
We're not blood relatives. There will never be a family reunion (outside of FB) where we all gather and catch up on what those crazy cousins did last summer. I will never give you a kidney and have it match, but I've given you something so much stronger and more valuable. I've given you my heart and my trust... and you have given me yours.
No, we're not blood. My blood and I have an uneasy relationship - for more years than I can count, we've often wished each other different, and only recently have begun to simply accept. Friends are the family you choose for yourself, and I know I've chosen well, and when I've needed you most, you've been there... and I hope I've been able to return the favor. With all the rough spots my blood and I went through, I owe you my sanity, and I owe you big. You're the reason I still hope, and still love. You give me courage.
Of course, there is the chance that you are reading this but we share no love. I appreciate the curiosity that motivates you, and I hope someday to change your mind. Or to be courageous enough to let you change mine... but I'm perfectly willing for that time to be as far in the future as it needs to be, to evolve naturally.
Until then, and as always, we are...
Love unfinished.
So - What constitutes family for you?
So - What constitutes family for you?
The layout is called The Uncertainty Principle Spread. It's 5 cards, laid out however you like. I laid them out with card one at the center, card two below, card three to the left, card four above, and card five to the right.
I didn't ask a question, just shuffled, but I had a card fall from the deck while I was shuffling, and it turned out to be the question I needed to be aware that I was asking - the question the deck was going to answer because I most needed it.
The question is: "What group dynamics have I successfully created and maintained?"
(fell from deck) 10 Pentacles - A disparate group united by a common situation.
I am adding to my private family of friends, and I'm not quite sure of the new additions yet. 1) Wave - How you are being affected emotionally.
3 Wands - This is a time to think big, and formulate plans based on your biggest, truest dreams. Your dreams are calling you.
This one is fairly obvious - I had a dream, and it changed the way I felt about certain things in my life. I tend to listen to my dreams - they know more than me - and this dream said, "Relax, you're safe now."
2) Particle - How you are being affected practically.
7 Wands - I am caught up in a serious conflict that will require all my energy and focus to win.
In spite of my dreams and their emotional reassurance, I am still fighting with myself over trust issues, and this fight is all-consuming.
3) Uncertainty - What can be changed.
King Cups - This is the ability to control powerful emotions without being overwhelmed by them.
I have this ability to stop being overwhelmed by emotions, to stop feeling (using strength, focus and self-control), at any time, allowing logic and reason to take over. I can use this ability to control my fears. I have a choice to make here - I control my emotions. Fear is an emotion. Either control my fears, or be subject to them.
4) Planck's Constant - What cannot be changed.
Queen Cups - I have an uncanny knack of reading others' emotions, and a highly developed sense of empathy.
I need to let go of my need to protect myself from those sources of information, and begin to pay attention to the deep feelings I'm sensing in others.
5) Probability - Potential outcome.
MA 11 - Justice - Justice brings balance and understanding to confusion and muddle, facing you with a clear vision of the truth.
Controlling my own emotions, and sensing the emotions of others, allows me to look at the situation honestly, and arrive at the correct conclusions, so that I can charge ahead bravely.
A window into understanding, comprehension of a person's real self. It's like a billion secrets in my head... Even when I'm careful to leave a person their privacy, it's more a matter of ignoring what I "hear" more than anything.
Think on it - were you not enamored of me, how would you feel if I told you, your feeling of privacy is an illusion. I see your thoughts, your emotions, clear and close as my own mind, and the distance between us only exists because I pretend it does.
People like their secrets. They need that feeling of separateness. Most people... if I told them everything, they'd run away. Most of them do.
That's why I'm so careful about ignoring most of what I hear. I'm so good at it that I actually have to stop a moment, and really focus my consciousness of that constant flow of information, really pay attention, to hear anything anymore. I'm still receiving it, but I'm really good at pretending until it's almost real that I don't.
However, have you ever noticed... the deeper I tap into you, the more you see of me? It's reciprocal.
Yesterday, I awoke from a dream of you. The dream was not complicated, it was brief, but in it, we woke together, as if we had done so for years. It was very comfortable, right. Comforting. Friendly. It felt wonderful, and made me smile, even though I woke alone. I haven't felt that way in years.
I'll admit, before falling asleep, I was so happy to know you, to be becoming friends with you, I had trouble putting you out of my mind... and that might be why I dreamed of you right before waking the next morning, but in all honesty I have to admit that I do not really think it was just a dream.
I do try to keep people out of my head, so I don't invade their sleep, but we are so much on the same wavelength that it's difficult to do so with you.
I told you, the first time I saw you was in my black mirror. When I saw you, I saw you in me, and me in you - the image flickered between our faces, as if we were one head with two faces that were almost the same. Sometimes I could not tell the difference between the faces as we morphed back and forth.
I do not love you yet, but the vision and the dream suggest to me that I will.
However, a dream does not mean you and I don't or won't have other loves. We do. I have many old friends whom I love deeply, who love me in return - and sometimes I regret leaving them so far away, because I must now love them from such a distance - and each of them is a flower in my heart, my loves a many-petaled bouquet, and I the vase.
You have spoken to me of your other loves, those people you consider to be your best friends. I have two best friends here, and many best friends who live far away - some are flirty friends, like some of yours.
I feel compelled to say to you that, if we were ever to become something to each other, beyond friendship, I promise... I will never ask you to give them up. I will make them my friends, too. I hope that my friends become yours, as well.
Life is a road of discoveries - I am walking the beginning of one with you. What it will become, I do not know, but I do know that I am enjoying our friendship, now, and that you are helping me overcome some of my wounded reactions.
Thank you for being you.
Now picture a sandy beach, warm unending ocean flowing towards it, little frothy beach-combers climbing the golden sand, only to fall back, fall back, and soak no more.
Do you know what glamour is? Glamour is the art of altering reality so much so that both the ocean and the room are true. They occupy the same space, at the same time. It's not illusion - it's not a lie. It's absolutely real.
When I wear my glamour, what you see is someone small, insignificant, powerless... not worth your effort or bother. It's not perfect... those of you who really know me suspect that there might be more to me than what the glamour projects, but for the most part, people see me and pass me over. That's the way I like it - I got tired of being challenged by the latest fluffy bunny who thought they had something to prove, a long time ago. The glamour keeps idiots off my back so I can get on with what I really want to be doing.
I won't explain what you would see when I take it off - suffice it to say I become more myself, more the creature of chaos, light, spirit - and things have a habit of.. warping around me - but both the glamour projection and the thing I am without it are truth. Both are 100% real.
Mind boggled yet?
Faeries warp reality. They change it and make it true. Their world is constantly shifting, restless mist, waiting for form. Their world is in the Astral, which explains part of the dreamlike existence the mists have, but as the Astral shifts with thought, Faerie not only shifts with it, but warps to become solid. Astral reality trickles down to earthly reality in a process that can take up to six months. Faerie shifts in a matter of seconds.
Like the Astral, Faerie is all around us - and like Astral, it's invisible to most people. Glamourie keeps people ignorant. Part of that is for protection, but most of it is that faeries value their privacy.
Glamourie also allows them to hunt as they will. And just so you know... if you're not afraid of faeries, you haven't been paying attention. They're not cute. They're not Tinkerbells. They're not Flower Faeries. They're tall, human tall or taller. They're powerful. And according to all the research I have found, they hunt and feed on humans. Granted, most of those myths are post-Christian writings - and everything suggests that Faeries are both Gods and Ancestors - dead that become deity. However, they're still not pretty, for all they're stunningly beautiful creatures.
All the myths of monsters that exist the world over - vampires, werewolves, ghosts, even the Chupacabra - all can be found in the legends about the Fae. That's where they have their roots.
There are two main courts of Fae, each with four rulers. Those two courts are the Seelie and Unseelie - that is, a nice way to die, and a horrible way to die. Seelie feed on sex. Unseelie feed on memory, or youth, or beauty, or joy. Both courts drink blood. When a faeries begins to feed, they will feed until there's nothing left. They might leave you alive, but you seldom stay that way - you either rot, or you take your own life through the madness they've created. Think - a faerie feeds on you, they take your youth. You go from 20 to 90 in moments. And then you see yourself in the mirror. You're horrified, and your grief consumes you while they watch and laugh. They're called The Kindly folk in hopes that they will be, but they seldom are.
They like to give gifts to humans that particularly please them, but all the gifts come with a huge price tag. One man was given a staff. As long as he held the staff, each of his ewes gave birth to twins. He became very wealthy. One day, the Faeries took the staff away, and threw it into a river. The man's land flooded, and all his sheep were drowned.
Faeries, as one of my meet-up guests suggested, are only happy to reward you when you've given them everything you have, and promised them everything you will ever have.
Another friend stated -
Faeries are charming. They'll charm your clothes off your back and chase you into the woods to die in their sacred groves.
And a quote from Terry Pratchett says:
“Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.”
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.”
They're amoral by human standards, but then, so is a tiger. As humans see cows, Faeries view humans. That galls, but the truth is, they are creatures of pure spirit - just as the Djinn are creatures of pure Air, or humans are creatures of Earth (I can't help but think of Djinn as being Fire, and Faeries as being Air - but research has proved me wrong many times). As all true and pure elementals, they just are. Humans cannot expect Faeries to obey the rules we've set forth for our behavior, because they're not human and never were. They are a force of nature, a natural spirit, and as such, they have the rules that such forces are governed by - just as we have structure and law because we are earth, they have formlessness and chaos because they are spirit. Such creatures have no rules.
I am a cusp. I have a human shell, binding and imprisoning me, making me subject to human law - not necessarily the rules of law and order, but the natural laws that govern these creatures. However, I am also Fae - and my soul is governed by those rules of chaos and light. Sometimes... it's a wild and crazy ride. Things happen around me that are inexplicable, and unexpected... things that bend reality to just short of breaking. Part of the reason I wear such heavy shields and such a strong glamour is to minimize such events. Telling lighting where to strike out of a pure blue sky and having it obey is a really great way to get yourself burned at the stake.
There is one difference. Most humans with faerie blood or faerie soul tend to be creatures of light. They tend to be almost angelic in their loving and caring natures - which suggests that, no matter what is told about their cruel, cold, predatory, almost demonic natures, no matter how they feed on humans like we're cattle, it is entirely possible that...
None of it is true.
I've been in Faerie a lot this week. I've had a lot of nightmares, none of which involved Faeries, but being in Faerie, while neither it nor its denizens were frightening, is truly beyond explanation. It's possible I had no real problems with Faerie or the entities that call it home because they're as saintly as I aim to be. It's also possible that I find it homey because I'm mostly Fae. It could be a great big trick.
I do not know, so my jury is still out.
It's all a dream, anyway... some day you'll wake up, and this life you're dreaming won't really mean anything, no matter what you are, underneath.
Other-kin.
Inhuman. Non-human.
Which matters more? The shell that you don and shed, draw on and cast off, like the clothes you wore yesterday? The shell that you wear, wash, recycle, or the thing the meat and bone disguises?
Just because it looks sweet, doesn't mean it will be.
There are two kinds of other-kin, did you know? Those by blood, and those by soul.
I happen to be both.
Look at the oldest myths and legends. We all know that at the heart of the story there hides a kernel of truth - and all those myths tell the story of a race of magickal creatures - call them angels or demons, call them faeries, nature spirits, or daemons, call them Lemurians or Atlantians, or whatever you'd like, but remember they were Powers, and for whatever reason, they bred with what passed for humans way back when, and thus imbued what would become the human race with some of their much-vaunted gifts, and created by this interbreeding a new species. The psychic man.
So now you have generations of the mixing of gifts and bloodlines, the constant loss and gain of powers - some that breed true, some that breed out, some that skip around the genetic pool like frogs hopping in the rain, but all ultimately creating in some poor schmucks some pretty crazy results, and warping perceived non-reality all over the place.
Thanks. I just love the results. Couldn't you have just given us something less dangerous and sanity-destroying, like faster-growing toenails?
And then, there's that which for lack of a better word we call soul.
Did you think that this was the only planet with life? The only planet with souls? Did you think that this was the only dimension, the only reality? Or were you open-minded enough to recognize that there are billions of planets in this dimension alone, and untold numbers of dimensions, where other creatures who also possess soul, or are purely soul with no form, might exist?
Did you think that, if reincarnation exists, perhaps not every soul is reborn to the race it was first engendered by? Did you wonder if you were really just a human - never mind the fact that even humans aren't all really human, thanks to a genetic drama that's been going on for hundreds of thousands of years?
It's something to think about, any way.
And which am I? Which are you? Are you really human from the bones out? If you've any gift of perception, probably not.
And what shape does your soul really take?
Are you other-kin, like me? By blood, by soul, by both?
We always know our own kind, you know. One look and I would know if you were just a human, just a dead head, or if you were something else... something more.
Not better, no... not better, but different.
And would you be OK with that?
Just because it looks sweet, doesn't mean it is. When I discovered I was living the lie (inhuman, non-human), I have to admit... I didn't cope very well with the information. I went a little nuts. I warped reality a dozen different ways, and not all of them good.
And then, one day, I woke up. I told myself, it doesn't matter what you were, it matters what you are. This life is the important one. And in this life, I'm wearing a human suit.
Call me what you will - one label works as well as another. Call me demon, call me angel, call me faerie, call me succubus, call me feline, call me human, and I'll tell you that you're right. It's all the same.
But do you really want to know? Will the shifting sands of reality drag you under? Will you drown in the knowledge that you're not like the others, or that you're nothing special at all? What will you feel, when you know?
Chances are, you already know. You know us when you see us. You know either that here stands something different, the other, the hated, or you know that here stands one just like you... and either way, the knowledge gives you no peace, no joy.
Some day, like me, the information will just be. It won't matter anymore. It'll just be another piece of you, a part of the whole image, but nothing special that you think about.
Some day... if you don't look too closely.
But probably not today.
To give him credit, he really is trying to live a straight and clean life, and as far as I can tell, is succeeding. But while he shows up every day to work, on time (mostly), and really does try really hard, he still just doesn't have the necessary skills or intellect to do the jobs he gets asked to do here.
For example - first, my garbage disposal started making a weird noise. Then, when a new one was put in, the dishwasher wouldn't run, and three plumbing leaks resulted. I had to call S. to come and fix the mess.
Then I asked for the lint traps in my dryer to be cleaned. Maintenance boy has come three times, and not once has he actually cleaned the lint traps out.
I asked for a toggle bolt to be put into the ceiling so that I could hang a houseplant. He drilled into a stud, made a god-awful mess, had to patch the hole four times, and then thought that spray-painting the ceiling to cover the mistake was a brilliant idea. My house stank for a week, and the smoke alarms now go off at random intervals, for no reason whatsoever. Oh, and the spray-painted patch of ceiling doesn't match the rest of the ceiling.
Safety codes require all ranges in apartments for seniors and disabled peoples to be anchored down so that no risk of tipping the stove onto yourself exists. Don't ask me why, but it's true. The stoves in our building were not anchored down. When he came to fix the problem, we discovered two bloody great big holes cut into the wall behind the stove, which leaked a large quantity of cold air into my house, the holes being in the external wall. Instead of using a drywall patch, he covered the holes with metal plates, achieving no solution for the cold air. Then my pipes froze.
I have a place on the edge of my carpet where the carpet has frayed. The damage goes back a good foot from the border. I complained. He came out today to fix the problem - and while I was asked to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to let him in, he didn't actually show up until I called the apartment manager to ask where the hell he was. When he did finally showed up, he ripped the carpet up, and then left it unfixed, because the problem proved to be too big for him to cope with. If he'd listened to me before he lifted the carpet and pulled out the nails, we wouldn't be waiting for Carpet One to come out and fix the problem - he could have just patched it with carpet and glue. Now I'll be waiting for another week before I can vacuum my floors, because if I vacuum with the carpet ripped up all along the edge, I'll destroy the carpet and my brand new vacuum cleaner.
Every time he's come to do any kind of work on my apartment, either the problem has been too big for him to be able to solve with his mediocre skills, or he's made the problem worse... and I'm not the only one who's having an issue with this.
Two weeks ago, there was a really bad leak downstairs in the hallways - and he used salt to dry up the stain, which means now the carpet has to be replaced. This guy makes idiots look smart.
A month ago, doing some work in a neighbor's house, he actually asked her to read and explain the work order, because he couldn't read it himself. He also asked her to help him fill out the work order completion form, because he couldn't write. If you can't read or write, how the hell are you going to know how to manage even the most basic repairs?
Two days ago, he was cleaning out a neighbor's water heater - we have very hard water here, and it has to be done every three months. He made a god-awful mess and she's still trying to clean it up... and all this begs the question... why is he still working here?
Here's why - the company who manages these apartments is cheap, and because he's an ex-con, they get a tax break for hiring him, and they can get him for minimum wage, the bastards.
I don't think there's enough tea in the world to make this morning better. I'm seriously pissed - this was definitely not how I wanted to start my day. :(
- Mood:
aggravated
The first time I saw him with pixie wings, he was looking over his shoulder at them, irritable and swearing - "... Fucking faerie!" A year later, and I still don't know how that sentence started. The two wings are long - fully two-thirds his body height, and thin, each only about two hands wide at the widest point, oval-shaped, almost like a wasp's wings, but with more veins, like a cicada or a dragonfly, and are black, like his hair and his claws. Black with red highlights, the opposite of his skin. He was... a little upset. He took it as absolute proof he wasn't himself, anymore, not the person he'd been for more than 6000 years.
My wings are whatever I choose them to be. In this, I am truly fae. I might even choose them to not be at all. Desire's wings are not like mine, for all that we share power and essence. Incubi have wings of their own, large as angel wings, but more like bat wings or dragon wings, but when we blended, I wasn't the only one who changed. He gained faerie, and his wings changed shape, but unlike mine, they never shift. Mine might be feathered like an angel, or fuzzy like a moth or butterfly. They might be veined, iridescent and transparent, like a cicada or a dragonfly, a wasp or a bee. His are always as they are.
I taught him how to use glamour to hide the alteration, though once I'd given him the basics, he took some time to study with the purely fae as well. I'm not even sure, now, why I thought that because of the wings, he'd be able to use glamour at all, but I was glad to be right, given how upset about the wings he'd been.
The proof of his perfected skills at glamour was not actually that I could not see his wings. Instead, it lay cupped in his hands, held out for my inspection now. A ball of golden light, shifting, shifting, until it settled to became a flower. It was so real that, for an instant, even I was fooled. A daffodil, for chivalry, until it shifted again - now a forget-me-not, a reminder to remember him always; and then a peony - a wish for healing, whether for him or me I could not yet say. And then finally a white rose for purity that shifted to blue, a color that has no meaning on Earth. I think he chose that color because blue is my favorite color. He never took his eyes off my face, never once looked at what lay in his hands as it flickered from shape to shape, color to color, flower to flower, each one perfect in mimicry from the stamens out, beautiful works of art offered to me, though should I touch them they would vanish. I kept my hands behind my back, until he spoke. "Does it not please you?" I had thought he was only displaying the skill, not offering a gift.
"Oh, Desire, it's beautiful... but if I take it, it will vanish. Your finest work."
He smiled. "Try, and see." I knew that impish look. He was pleased about something, excited about the gift, I assumed. It made me a little bit excited, too. His first smile in over a month. I had a nightmare, one of many, and the next day, he was gone. Now he was back, and something had changed. He was less intense, less dour, less about security and more about fun. It was new, and I wasn't sure I trusted it.
But you can't win if you won't play. I wanted to know what was different, so I reached out, and let him place the now-golden rose into my waiting hands. As I expected, it flickered, and blinked, and vanished. But in its place came a weight, and when I looked closer, it resolved into a heavy gold ring, covered with thick, dark red lines. I blanched. He'd given me a ring covered in blood. A ring I knew.
"Desire, what have you done?" I prayed, silently, for a moment, forgetting that he would hear my thoughts. Please, Goddess, let this not mean war.
"I took his other arm. For your dreams, I took his other arm. I challenged him to single combat, before the others, and took his arm by right of conquest. I took his ring so that you would know peace."
Slowly, I looked up into his face. I stared at those uncanny eyes, and the expression was one of need. He needed me to be safe, and he needed my approval. I'm not sure why someone as old as he is needs such surety from me, but he loves me, and that I see these actions as a form of his devotion is important to him. He needed my dreams, the nightmares of that beating, to stop... so he went and took the weapon that created them away from the entity that owned it. But he made sure that I knew, having heard my prayer when I recognized the ring, that we had nothing to fear. Single combat. No reprisals. I sighed in relief, and closed my fist around the ring.
"Let me show you a new trick." I smiled up at him. "Put your hand over mine, and feel what I do now," I said, and when he had done so, with that careful, listening look on his face as he payed sharp attention to what I would do, I called the power, and altered the dimensions of the ring, shrinking it until it fit the finger he chose. When it was the right size, I let him take it from my hand, and slip it, smiling, onto the index finger of my left hand.
Yeah. We're silly like that.
But this blog post isn't about my relationship mistakes, or serving others through cooking. Nor is it about how many kisses I got from my cat today. It's about supporting yourself with love.
I recently discovered that I really love to cook. I didn't know that. Honestly I actually thought I hated it. It stressed me out, because I always felt, with S., that I couldn't be a better cook than he was, being professionally trained. In fact, I was so caught up in the idea that S. was a better cook than I was that I lost the savor of it, even though he lavished praise on me and frequently ate twice as much as I. It got so bad that after a while, I just stopped cooking at all, and so I have only lately rediscovered this passion - oddly enough, through a dream where my Shadow-self and I were cooking dinner, and I was really loving the experience. The dream was so positive, and I awoke feeling so wonderful about it, that I gave it a shot.
The dream was actually true. I love to cook so much, I go out of my way to find excuses to get me into the kitchen. I cook for myself and my friends, bake on a regular basis, and thrill with joy every time I make a smile on someone's face, even if it's just my own. But we're talking about being self-loving, which requires an action beyond practicing a hobby - which is why, to foster this new appetite, I took part of my tax returns, and bought myself new pots and pans - decent heavy ones... and I'm positively aglow about them. T-Fal pots and pans, over $100 worth, and a joy to cook with, each and every one of them. Even heating. Non-stick but not that cheap crap that peels off. No-heat-transference handles. Thick metal so nothing burns. Oh, My Goddess, I love these things. I made my first dinner with my new toys tonight, to celebrate my love of cooking and support this new hobby magickally... after all, today IS all about love, even if only the crass commercial kind. Chaucer must be spinning in his grave.
The other thing I did was buy a new cellphone... what is love, without communication? And we all know how much I positively live to talk. Hopefully this one will survive longer than my others.
So... how have you been loving towards yourself today?
I have, gods help me, historical windows. And they leak air in historical proportions. So, upon discovering that most blackout curtains have a backing on them that blocks out temperature as well as light, I decided that when tax season came around again, I'd get some. So, when I got my rent credit check in, I headed to the local wally world to buy them.
However, when I finally got the damned things home, they were the perfect width, but were three inches too short, lengthwise.
So I took them back to exchange them.
Guess what.
Wal-mart doesn't have any in stock the right length.
So I tried Lowes, instead. Where they were three times as expensive, but there were none in the color I needed.
So I'm going to have to buy them online at Walmart.com.
Grrr.
We were standing on the top of a mound in the center of the wood, looking out over the view of wilderness. I remember thinking, this is what it looked like, back when he was a God. There was a calm to him - a sort of zen-like calm that one only gets when one is assured of dying, over and over again, only to be reborn. Or perhaps it's simply the prosaic calm of a faerie older than dirt. I can't really tell, so I try not to think about it. Besides, he's making me think about other things, anyway.
"You're so young to be so bitter... does it please you to be so angry at the world?"
"I'm not angry," I say, my voice sullen and demanding that this line of questioning stop. Of course he doesn't listen.
"It must fill some purpose, or you wouldn't hold on to it so strongly. Tell me what it does for you, and I will cease my questioning." Of course, when you've lived for more years than most species have been around, being direct is a privilege. I sigh, because obviously, we are going to have this conversation.
"Let me show you, then." The flicker surrounds us. First snap, the medications. These four for mental reasons. These two vitamins to combat the side-effects of two of those four. This one because a fiancée cheated on me. Ah, and that brings new flickers - the fiancée, and all the other lovers, where we all went wrong, the fights, the lack of fight, the slow slide into painful oblivion... the druggies, the alcoholic, the two abusers, the first love who got addicted to black magick, the two covens that fell apart, the witch war. All the little proofs that life is hell, and no one makes it out alive.
Finally, it's over. He looks at me with ancient eyes. "You are beautiful, my broken girl, and you do not see it. All that pain, and you keep trying to heal others. Your illness is your strength - but because you're not your version of perfect, you believe you cannot be healed. It must be the seelie in your blood, this drive for physical perfection. To me, you have already achieved it."
I'm silent for a moment, then... "But I'm not seelie," I say. "I'm unseelie court."
He smiled, and as he faded away on the wind, I heard "Angels are a bit of both, daughter."
"Shhh... don't tell them. They wouldn't believe you." I laugh, and following suit, I fling my own self into the winds, to go where I wish... home.
And if it helps you to do so, I would let you. I truly would. Because I know people have desired me before, and will again. Before February of last year, people desired me, even if I didn't notice. But I have to ask... if you still desire me, has anything about that desire changed? And if you didn't desire me... do you now? And is it because I am, even if not strictly, partially Ubi?
I would let you believe the lie. I would love to - because I fear the hate that truth can bring. Except for one thing.
I promised myself, when I blended my essences with my guide, the Incubus named Desire, that I would not eat my friends. Being fed on is, by design, addictive... and with limited food-sources, it can be deadly. So, I feed in the Astral, and I never feed on the same person twice in the same week.
I made a promise, and I thought that I had kept it...
Until the day I realized the hunger had made a liar out of me.
He's a friend. And he's lonely. And when he shared the things he was most passionate about, I didn't always understand, but I accepted them, because he is my friend.
And for almost exactly one year, things have been different. It seems he needs me more now than before... even he admits his feelings are different. February 16, 2010. That's when I changed. And the next time he and I contacted each other, so did we.
A month ago, I finally felt it. I realized what was happening. I realized the broken promise.
I admit... I felt horribly guilty, and afraid. I wanted to tell him - but I was sure he would think I was nuts, and reject me. I tried hints, but they were too subtle. I told him again and again that he was sharing his passions with me, that I was drinking in his desires... but I can be a very poetic person, and he took my words as metaphorical.
Finally, today, I said it - I got it off my chest... I wrote him a poem, first - a last ditch effort to explain...
Passion is food and drink -
the finest wine -
it falls into the well of my hunger,
it soothes that emptiness...
desire,
made into the strongest shield
which I hold dearest to my heart,
for it is my survival.
the finest wine -
it falls into the well of my hunger,
it soothes that emptiness...
desire,
made into the strongest shield
which I hold dearest to my heart,
for it is my survival.
And then I told him what it meant, that it was pure truth. But I also told him when the difference happened, and how I felt, when I realized a month ago that I was feeding on him - how I was afraid to tell him, afraid to be hurt. I told him everything.
His reply? "Again, I submit, blissfully."
And you know what? It didn't matter that my friend had become an addict. I don't think of it that way. I think of it as my gift to him, because when he's sharing his passions with me, the things he desires, he feels less lonely, less alone - he feels wanted, needed, desired, accepted, and all those things are true.
My hunger broke my promises, made me a liar.
And I don't regret it one bit.
But tell me, dear reader....
Are we different now, too?
Rule #1 - Keep a bowl handy. It's possible to cough for so long, and so hard, that you vomit. In fact, if you do so, you've definitely got Bronchitis. Also, coughing spasms can actually make every muscle in your body clench, so go to the bathroom every fifteen to thirty minutes - even if you think you don't need to. Coughing so long and hard that you pee your pants is incredibly embarrassing. If you're a girl, crossing your legs while experiencing a coughing spell might save you from such an embarrassing accident. If you're a guy - sorry, I don't know what will help you. Also - since during the night, you're sleeping and NOT going to the bathroom every 15 minutes, if you are waking up a lot at night with really bad coughing spells, you may also want to put a towel under you while you sleep... Just in case.
Rule #2 - If you get too hot, you cough more. Over-heating will actually bring on a coughing fit you cannot control. Make sure you dress (or undress) with this in mind. You may wish to take a few blankets off the bed, or stop using the electric blanket for a while, for the same reason.
Rule #3 - Keep your throat wet, using fluids that are slightly acidic. While peeing every 15 minutes is a pain in the ass, keeping your throat wet will help you have less coughing spells. Hot drinks, like honey and lemon tea, and fruit juices low in sugar are best for this purpose, and sucking on those nifty vitamin C chewable tablets helps, too. Avoid cough drops, as well. Cough drops and most juices have a lot of sugar in them. Sugar aggravates your throat. Milk products make you produce more mucus, which also aggravates your throat. Lastly, try gargling with Listerine. The original kind. I know, it tastes horrible and it burns like a sonuvabitch but gargling for 15 seconds kills all the germs on the back of your throat. You will recover much faster if you can do that several times a day.
Rule #4 - If you have a coughing spell that fluids doesn't stop, try blowing your nose. In fact, blow your nose as often as possible anyway. Mucus on your throat actually encourages the coughing reflex even if your lungs are clear. Your nose connects to your throat, so if you have a stuffy nose, you have a slippery, itchy throat. Try not to sniffle, as this sends more mucus to your throat - and your lungs, which will make the problem worse.
Rule #5 - Mucinex is God. Nothing works as well as Mucinex for bronchitis. Start taking it as soon as you realize you're going to get bronchitis, if you can.
Rule #6 - When you sleep, elevate your head. Adding an extra pillow while you're sick can lessen the coughing spells that wake you in the night. Keep those fluids, and tissues (I really like Puffs with Vicks Lotion) handy at night-time, too, so if a spasm wakes you, you can blow your nose, moisten your throat, and go right back to sleep.
Rule #7 - If you can, breathe through your nose as much as possible. While a stuffy nose might make you breathe through your mouth, this will dry out your throat, no matter how much you drink, and a dry throat gets ticklish, causing bronchial spasms - in other words, coughing spells. Saliva does not moisten the throat - in fact it dries it out more. Also, talk as little as possible - talking will irritate your throat, too.
Rule #8 - Take it easy - even if you're at work, try to rest a lot. You have bronchitis, which means you can't breathe as well as normal. Exercise can make you dizzy, or it can make you too warm, bringing on a coughing spell. Try not to operate heavy machinery. If you can't stop coughing, or if you get dizzy a lot, you're not safe to drive. If you start to have either reaction, stop what you're doing immediately.
Rule #9 - Do not expose yourself to the weather, no matter how well you are wrapped up for it. Bronchitis can turn into pneumonia at the drop of a hat. Also, don't expose yourself to particulates - even cigarette smoke will aggravate your bronchitis, and cause you to have more violent coughing spells. Reduce your exposure to airborne particulates, and if you smoke, do your best to cut down on the number of cigarettes you smoke, as much as possible. If you don't smoke, stay away from people who do.
Rule #10 - Eat. Fluids aren't the only things you need - healing takes energy. Keep the fires stoked.
Rule #11 - Stay away from the bathtub, as this will raise your temperature and cause severe coughing spells. Taking hot showers, however, can help clear your sinuses, and the steam can sometimes help reduce the spasms in your lungs.
Rule #12 - Work with your doctor. Tell him if you think you have bronchitis (a simple listen to your lungs will confirm this), and take the medications he prescribes. Listen to everything he says, and follow his advice. There are two forms of bronchitis. The most common one is viral. Antibiotics do not work on viral infections. Viral bronchitis can take up to three months to resolve. The other form of bronchitis, while more rare, does respond to antibiotics, because there is a secondary infection, like walking pneumonia. The major symptoms can be gone within a few days on the antibiotics... but even if you feel fine, you need to finish those antibiotics because there's still a chance for reinfection if you don't... and the second infection may be resistant to medicine. If your doctor thinks you have the viral infection, he will not prescribe antibiotics, because they will not help, but also because taking antibiotics that you don't need can actually create "super-bugs" that create health problems that are harder to cure.
When talking to your doctor, mention if you are in any pain from the coughing. Bronchitis will make you cough until it hurts, and then cough some more. It is possible to tear muscles in your stomach with the force of your coughing spasms. Your doctor can prescribe this really wonderful cough syrup with a pain reliever in it, formulated to relax your muscles and helps you get all the crap out of your lungs at the same time.
Rule #13 - Bronchitis is highly contagious. People with compromised immune systems are particularly at risk, but anyone you expose yourself to during the course of your illness can catch it. Do your best to reduce the chances of contagion. Wear a mask in public, and around those individuals who are at risk for secondary infections, such as infants and the elderly, cancer patients, etc. Try to stay away from those people as much as possible. Cover your mouth when you cough, and wash your hands, with soap, every time you cough, and every time you blow your nose. If you prepare food for other people, wear a mask and gloves, and change your gloves and wash your hands frequently. Flush or burn your tissues, throw them away in a sealed bag - make sure other people cannot come into contact with them. These actions will also help keep you from reinfecting yourself, something that Bronchitis is wont to do.
Rule #14 - There is no vaccine to prevent bronchitis, and there is no cure for the virus that causes asthmatic bronchitis. If you have the viral form, even when the symptoms go away, you may still have bronchitis - some viruses can go dormant until the right conditions are met, and then flare up. It is a permanent condition which flares up almost every time you get sick, even with just a simple cold. Do your best to reduce your exposure to anything that will aggravate your condition, and keep an inhaler and mucinex in your medicine cabinet at all times.
Rule #15 - If you get dizzy a lot, you need a trip to your doctor's office, or the ER, for a breathing treatment. They suck, they taste foul, but trust me when I say this - they are very effective. Deal with it. If you can't walk ten feet without needing to sit and catch your breath, you've got a problem - pay attention.
Rule #16 - Apply common sense. Some of these rules are tricks that help. Most of them, however, are simply good reasoning. If you want to get better, you'll need that.
Finally, you should know there is hope - acute bronchitis only lasts for a few months, less with correct treatment. If you've got Chronic, or Asthmatic bronchitis, well, at least you'll get a handle on other aspects of your life - like running with scissors, chainsawing while alone, and hiding behind a lit wall of dynamite. I wish you a quick interment for an interminable problem.
Happy birthday... May this day and the coming year be filled with love, prosperity, joy and laughter. Bright blessings!
I may look human, but I've never been one - not truly. I wear a human suit, here, but my soul is of different make, and the blending of many kinds means the existence of many hungers. But, as you have said about yourself many times, I am not strictly Ubi. Or Fae. Or anything else... and because of this, my hungers are many - I did not lose the Fae hungers when I gained the Ubi, and I must feed both to survive, so I hunt in Astral for food that calls to both the unseelie and the carnal lusts, but I also feed here.
What exactly do I eat? A nibble of some causal shared lust here and there, offered up by a kind friend, and then the stars, and if I cannot reach them, the storm, the trees, the grasses. That part of me that hungers for the freedom of the night, the freedom of the sky, cannot be fed by any other way - only starlight can fill that particular empty space within me. Humans cannot fill it, nor animals - it is a thing of wild open spaces, vast reaches, solar and lunar emanations, and humans are none of those things anymore. That, and to the Fae, even the unseelie, humans taste disgusting - even when the Ubi lusts call for it, the Fae in me searches for better, and humans are, from that perspective, nothing better than junk food - that which one eats to still the hunger for a moment, but not a true feed unless the gift of a meal is offered freely with knowledge.
Sometimes, the hungers become confused… the unseelie passions rule my lustful hunger, so that the more dangerous the prey, the more I want to fuck it - but I cannot feed the Fae hunger by such means.
When I saw the stars, I immediately began to gather up my coat, to dig out my shoes from the suitcase, to prepare to go out and feed. Of course, it wasn’t quite that simple, because I had begun to go through a classic human experience… my shell had come down with a cold. Of course, my healers were working on it, but while they can lessen the symptoms, and effect a cure in a couple of days, there are certain things that… make their job… difficult.
Such as taking a long walk under the stars when it’s 4 degrees outside.
“You realize this will slow down the healing, that this is a mistake?” came the flash of red and black… always so quick to point out when I’m about to do something… foolish.
“Desire,” I sigh, “if not tonight, then WHEN? We haven’t seen stars in a month, and tomorrow the clouds will be back, and I will still be starving. I need to feed.” Wisely, the voice was silent, and I finished my preparations, and decamped from the house in short order.
There is a price to going so long without feeding, even when it’s because there’s no other choice. Thus, it wasn’t until I was nearly to the road, fully 5 acres away from my parent’s house, that I was able to finally feed. I had to get far enough away from all the metal - when you’re as low on energy as I am, even in a human shell, your resistance to cold iron, to the metals of man, becomes significantly less, until it interferes with even the natural functions like feeding… having to walk so long in the cold was going to come back to bite me in the ass, later, but for now, I walked under the stars, until finally, that part of me that fed on starlight released, opened, relaxed, and from one moment to the next, filled - like gravity, like grounding, the energy from starlight simply filled me, the moment I unclenched that starving hole within me. I took time to revel in the feeling of the night, sharing that appreciation with the elements that fed me as a form of thanks, and finally, I turned and walked back towards the house.
The glittering snow, the glittering stars, my glittering eyes… all at peace, all full and happy, that trapped, caged, pacing part of me calmed… for a while.
It was totally worth it… Even if, the next day, I woke without a voice, for my pains.
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selketkitty- selqetkitty
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